It’s not our fault, right? Every gathering is an all-you-can-eat buffet, and calories magically become festive cheer! You know the drill: You promise yourself you won’t go overboard, but then Uncle Shakes brings his famous pounded goat meat complete with offals and all bets are off. The only exercise we're getting is repeatedly lifting the fork or hand to our mouths. You swear you'll just have one piece of meat, but suddenly you’re on a first-name basis with the dining table. Ever notice how the dieticians become very busy during the year concocting all sorts of diets for the fat-threatened side of the population but suddenly stop around November.
Yes, they do. The whole idea is for you to eat many goats in December, put on more flab and pay them a visit in January with a distressed body. It is business, right? Trying to keep people on a diet during Christmas is like trying to keep a snowman from melting in the sun—it’s simply not going to happen! Dieticians wisely retreat and resurface in January with renewed vigour, ready to help us repent for our festive indulgences. Because, let’s face it, the real holiday miracle is pretending we can say no to a second helping of tripe mixed with intestines! So, during December, it’s every dieter for themselves. May your stretch pants be ever-forgiving and your guilt as light as your New Year’s salad.
