Otherwise, if you don’t have height, not many women would convert you into a husband quickly. If you don’t have patience, who do you expect to accompany your wife when she goes shopping? I think shopping is a woman’s attempt to get back at the husband who, naturally, regularly breaks curfew and forgets to use the toilet brush. So the descendants of Eve have found a nice way to deal with us. So when you leave the house, you have to have practiced nodding politely, saying yeah (which usually means ‘Wait, are you serious?’), and the smile of a politician. This is a man’s toolkit when they goes shopping with his wife. You walk into the store thinking, ‘We’ll be in and out in 15 minutes.’ Any man who says this clearly.
You just cannot. She’ll spend 20 minutes comparing two brands of paper towels, while you’re silently praying for China to finally detonate its hydrogen bomb to end the ordeal. By the time you (read she is) are done, you’ve aged five years, but she’s glowing like she just won The Hunger Games. And you? You’re carrying 17 bags of ‘essentials’ that somehow all weigh more than your dignity. We once passed by the BBS ‘market’. Most stalls were manned by women who seemed to have been drinking Reboost non-stop since the year 2000, and are very good and ensnaring gullible customers. We walked through long, narrow, crowded aisles between the stalls, and at every stall we passed, a salesperson tried to lure us in via such subtle sales techniques as grabbing your arm or shouting ‘Special, special’. If you respond by displaying any interest at all - and by 'displaying any interest,’ I mean ‘not walking quickly away’ - the salesperson will thrust a merchandise item into your hands and claim that it is the real thing, like the Air Jordan sneakers would have been signed by Michael Jordan himself. They would claim it was not some cheap knockoff Air Jordan, such as the other vendors will try to sell you. They will then tell you they are giving you a very special price. Even though the salesperson has known you at this point for less than 15 seconds, she has taken an instant liking to you, so she has decided to give you a price so ridiculously low, so totally crazy, that she will lose money on the deal and be forced to leave the vendor business and survive by working Ipelegeng cycles. That is how much she likes you. Women fall for it every time. Women love haggling.
