This is the world’s most stressed-out puddle. International powers are buzzing about the straits like caffeinated mosquitoes arguing about who has the right to control them or who has the largest artillery. And in this high-stakes arena sails... a...
Who approved the idea of a four-day weekend followed immediately by responsibility? That seems like pure unadulterated whiplash. For a good four days you were living the soft life but now you have to respond ‘noted, thanks’ to emails you don’t...
While the official version of these increases is that Trump has bombed the Strait of Hormuz we don't believe that is the reason. I believe only the legendary powers of Morris are capable of pushing fuel prices up to unprecedented levels. Not some...
Every rainy season, local potholes recruit new allies, expanding their empire faster than the council can hold emergency meetings. Truth be told the tarred section feels like a rude guest crashing a pothole family reunion. Places like BBS Mall,...
So really, the suit is just humanity’s long-running attempt to look intimidating, fashionable, and slightly uncomfortable—all at once. This week, a minister’s suit was the subject of a not-so-intense debate in Parliament. One Member of...
We’ve spent so many decades hearing that an attack on Iran is ‘imminent’ or ‘on the table’ that most people probably checked their calendars to make sure they hadn't accidentally time-travelled back to 2003. It’s the military...
These were the after-effects of COVID-19. It had badly affected my mind to the extent that my memory on Sunday morning just refused to remember going to church. I know many don’t believe but if I remember my scriptures well even people during...
She always had this face like every morning someone had dumped half the world chillies supply in her food. Her attitude was my brain was not working well enough for me to be eligible to have an opinion or do anything right. Even if it was raining...
If you’re a lady expecting a 100-long-stemmed-rose bouquet and a trip to the Bahamas, you might be in the wrong time zone. Botswana women have argued for decades — feel free to Google this — that Batswana men have desecrated the art of giving...
An acceptable definition for a relay is a race where one person hands over a stick to the next person and hope they don’t drop it while sprinting at full speed. When a country hosts an event like this you expect there’ll be a whole lot of noise...
In short: prophets were the original ‘spoiler alerts’ for humanity. These, though, only existed in Biblical times. Then in recent times these completed morphed into flamboyant individuals with all manner of trickery. I think the advent of new age...
His mission though had nothing to do with cool drinks. Now, I don’t know if he thinks he’s the president of Venezuela, the president of the United States, or the president of the local golf club — but he’s definitely president of confusion....
Officials say the move was designed to ‘support national merrymaking’ though insiders admit it was mostly to test how many times Charma Girl’s music can be played before patrons riot. Local residents are divided. Some welcomed the chance to...
When the festive season happens, 80% of the population uses A1 to get to their Christmas destination every year. The Department for Transport has confirmed that the annual ‘Great Festive Migration’ will soon be underway. On the A1, it’s not...
The feedback was like a clearance sale: insults 50% off, sarcasm buy one get one free and unsolicited advice in bulk. One kind guy though offered me a spare couch to sleep on. Basically the feedback ranged from marriage counselling to witness...
Otherwise, if you don’t have height, not many women would convert you into a husband quickly. If you don’t have patience, who do you expect to accompany your wife when she goes shopping? I think shopping is a woman’s attempt to get back at the...
I surmised that ‘That column’ would have meant Ink Spills. I was flattered. Ink Spills is now referred to as ‘that column’, which means it is steadily creeping towards being referred to as ‘the column’ – an upgrade of ‘that column’....
Only 30% of the people are interested in the contents of the SONA. But one must survive these long speeches without losing their will to live. Many people attend the SONA for 3 things really. First they want to see the fashion parade and the whole...
This past week, I went to one of the government departments. For you to get service before sunset, you have to arrive at around 3 am and strike a friendship with a security guard. When you arrive at that time, you will be number 83. I arrived at 5:00...
And because sometimes your smarts desert you I failed to Google this and get out of my misery. Unfortunately for me a friend asked what actually a flash flood is and I mumbled off that it was actually just a fancy word for a flood to make it sound...
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