the monitor

No Horse Hair On Sticks

There’s a wig that parliamentary speakers wear. That wig isn't just a fashion statement; it's a time capsule.

It contains the collective wisdom of every parliamentarian who's ever worn it. Or maybe just a lot of hairspray. I don’t know and frankly I don’t ever want to know. I suspect it's actually a sophisticated surveillance device. It's listening to everything. Isn't it fascinating that parliamentary tradition still sticks with this equestrian-inspired headpiece? It's as if the speaker is saying, ‘I not only herd debates, but I'm also ready to trot into a jousting match at a moment's notice!’ There was a hair product line called Black Like Me and apparently it was designed specifically for black people’s hair. Apparently it is so good, it should be in the hair care hall of fame. Or at least on the 'most flammable substances' list. Most local heads have a complicated relationship with these hair sprays. It's a love-hate thing. Mostly hate, from the local scalp's perspective. One wonders whether these products will work so well with this blonde wig. I doubt.

In parliament an interjection like ‘point of order’ can escalate to no teeth and the speaker - together with his horsehair wig - can quell such in the blink of an eye. I am talking about serious parliaments as you creep up the continent where not only should parliamentarians be skilled in speaking but also have a healthy level of boxing skills and martial arts in their repertoire. Unlike here at home where most parliamentarians don’t even have a white belt in ratho, the most basic form of martial arts.

Editor's Comment
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