Winning an argument with a bus conductor 3. Accountability Government has decided to constitute the Public Accounts Committee to ask the government captains ‘where is the money’. The committee chairing the hearings has been carefully selected by the president and his cabinet. For one to make it into the committee one has to have a special talent for making even the most mundane expenditure sound like a scandal worthy of a movie. The perfect PAC is a theatrical ensemble, a finely tuned engine of scrutiny and a guaranteed source of exasperated sighs and head-shaking moments for everyone involved. Amidst all the seriousness that comes with such platforms PAC does provide some hilarious moments. The humor in PAC hearings comes from the sheer absurdity of it all. It's the juxtaposition of incredibly serious topics with the often-hilariously inadequate explanations. It's the human element – the flustered officials, the exasperated committee members and the constant dance around accountability. The poor soul is the accounting officer in the hot seat, tasked with explaining why the government spent enough on masks to fund a small nation, or why a project that was supposed to take six months is now entering its sixth year. Their answers often involve a delightful blend of corporate jargon, passive voice and the occasional desperate glance at their colleagues for moral support.
Their teams are equally flustered and they would rather not be bothered either. They would rather stay in the background and watch this movie play itself out without being a part of the cast. Questions like ‘But exactly what shade of blue was the paint used in the stationery cupboard in fiscal year 2022, accounting officer?’ have proved to be more difficult than they normally are when one is in the comfort of their office. Body language and its immutable truth! While the accounting officers’ mouth was busy uttering carefully crafted statements the body was hosting its own, much funnier, tell-all special. When the questions became more serious many started invoking the ‘Suddenly Fascinated by My Cuticles’ Gaze. A question about the missing millions will result in eyes immediately darting to fingernails, as if the answer to all financial indiscretions is etched into the cuticle beds. In South Africa they have taken it more seriously. They have called the ministers themselves. But I realized they were not fair on the ministers because one of them seemed mightily hungry and started eating during the interrogation process. This minister achieved legendary status because when they asked her a very difficult question around the definition of the word ‘credibility’.
