The feedback left me wondering if there was a landlord seminar to specifically deal with me because it seemed to be choreographed from Broadway. Everything about the feedback screamed trouble and there were subtle menacing undertones of ‘we will get you one day’. At this rate, the readership of this column might well dwindle to the point where I cannot even fill a closet with readers. So, today’s instalment is meant to balance the injustices of last week and possibly salve the week-long wounds and try to fill up a few closets with readers. Some gleeful tenants also responded by thanking me for telling it like it is and putting the leeches that trade as landlords in their place.
Some even suggested I should be given a medal of some sort in recognition of my effort to speak for the voiceless. Voiceless in this case means tenants and this left me very baffled. My response – retort actually – was to ask if he didn’t think my effort last week was good enough because in my mind I should be honoured with a statue for speaking for them. I do not mean to suggest here that all tenants are thoughtless jerkwards. Far from it. Plenty of tenants are nice. Errant, but nice! I myself was once a tenant. I was even, briefly, an errant one, although I am thinking of petitioning the courts to have that expunged from my record. So it is deflating for someone you have ‘travelled for’ like our president would say, to only thank you with a little medal when there’s so much they could have done to recognise your contribution to mankind. Because of that, tenants will not get away so easily. This week the theme is about you and your drama. The trauma that you visit on landlords is stuff for horror movies. Tenants are usually from several places – previous landlords, the village and hell. The latter is the least desirable one. You would agree on rent payment date and every month, they will be late. Usually they spin yarns like • The boss is outside the country • The cleaner has run away with the accountant in tow • System is down at work • COVID-19 has ravaged me and my bank account
