the monitor

New Neighbourhood Noises and Mongrels

Moving into a new neighbourhood is like stepping into a sitcom where you're both the star and the audience, waiting to see if you've landed in a comedy or a horror show.

The first episode usually involves the Neighbours’ Noise Level Assessment: A critical period where you determine if you've moved next to a silent film enthusiast or an aspiring drummer with a love for the night shift. You ponder the merits of soundproofing versus the simplicity of earplugs, weighing them like a judge at a talent show. But then, there's the wildcard entry: The local mongrel, a dog with a lineage so mixed, it could represent every breed at the United Nations of Dogs. This four-legged escape artist makes Houdini look like an amateur, somehow defying the laws of physics to sneak into your yard. On day two, this canine concoction, a 'budget bull terrier,' if you will, paid me a visit. It's a dog that prompts a guessing game of its heritage, leaving neighbours to speculate if it's more pit bull than shepherd or more poodle than pointer.

These mongrels are the rebels of the canine world, refusing to be confined by fences or societal expectations of pedigree. They roam with a freedom that we, as humans, can only envy from our neatly fenced-off properties. The owner's plight is real; explaining their pet's genealogy would take longer than the dog's actual lifespan. So, they settle for a simple truth: If it barks within the yard, all is well in the world. It also seems I have traded the natural crow of the rooster for the mechanical beep of the alarm clock as there doesn’t seem to be any roosters around this place. No more the early morning "cock-a-doodle-doo" that acts as a feathery snooze button. Instead, you have the cold, unfeeling digital chirp that, unlike the cockerel, doesn't come with the option for a few more minutes of sleep.

It's a modern-day showdown: The trusty old cockerel with its built-in solar alarm system, versus the electronic gadget that promises precision but lacks personality. And let's not forget the suspense of wondering whether the new neighbourhood's cockerels would have been up to the task. Would they have been the punctual type, greeting the dawn with gusto, or the laid-back kind, who hit the snooze button on nature's clock? But alas, the question remains unanswered, as the cockerels are nowhere to be heard. Now, it's just me and the alarm clock, ticking away the seconds in a silent pact, ensuring that I start my day on time, without any feathered competition. It's a new routine, a new rhythm to my mornings, but one thing is for sure: the battle of the alarms has been won, and the victor is the one that needs no feed, no coop, and certainly no roost – my ever-reliable alarm clock. And so, as I settle into my new abode, I brace for the symphony of sounds that will become the soundtrack of my life here. From the nocturnal strumming of the next-door 'rock stars' to the eclectic barks of the neighbourhood's four-legged wanderer, it's a cacophony that I'll learn to tune into harmony. Because, in the end, isn't that what neighbourhood living is all about? A little noise, a dash of chaos, and a whole lot of stories to tell.

Welcome to the neighbourhood, where every day is an adventure and every night a potential musical. Just remember, when the going gets tough, the tough get earplugs. Or soundproofing. Or maybe just a good sense of humour. (For comments, feedback and insults email [email protected]) Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email [email protected]

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