It must be something in the National Stadium air that make seemingly short projects take forever to complete. Many would remember how more than a decade ago the people who are charged with coming up with good ideas came up with a good idea. The stadium should be renovated so that teams coming to the 2010 world cup in South Africa can camp here and acclimatize with the sweltering heat of Southern Africa. Fine and good. What then followed was a circus that would outdo the Boswell and Wilkie outfit. World Cup 2010: stadium not ready. World Cup 2014: stadium still not ready. So we had a sense of déjà vu when the people charged with coming up with good ideas decided that the stadium had to be rehabilitated in order to host the Golden Grand Prix. The Golden Grand Prix is part of the prestigious World Athletics Continental Tour Gold series, showcasing top-tier track and field events across the globe. Mind you, this is the stadium that took more than 6 years to rehabilitate and the best we could get was a fresh coat of pink paint.
So we were understandably apprehensive. And they didn’t disappoint. With the world watching the great people of this republic continued to put up a clinic on how to bungle up a prestigious event. First spectators were marooned outside and our attempts to get through the turnstiles were met with mean-faced security guards and locked rusty gates. Imagine arriving at the event all excited, only to be greeted by security guards whose faces look like they've been sculpted to never smile. They were standing there with crossed arms, looking like they moonlight as bouncers for a secret society of serious people.The standard Botswana template is: when there’s a crisis, starve people of information. So, the rumour mill became the source of information. First it said the lanes were not marked so we cannot get inside the stadium. As the rumour mill heated up we then heard the paint to mark the lanes was finished.Then they said the lane-marking machine was broken. After about 5 hours we got inside the stadium only to find part of the lanes unmarked and unattended to. After a while a hardworking Oriental-looking man came pushing a little machine which turned out to be the lane marker. But he looked like he was suffering from a lack of sleep. Apparently people that were putting the whole thing together hadn't slept for weeks. With the crowd supervising his every move the quest to finish off the lane marking started in earnest.
Many assumed the half-asleep man was Chinese and started bellowing instructions in Chinenglish (which is an attempt to speak both English and Chinese at the same time). ‘Marka too fast tat one.’ ‘Maker straighter straighter’ ‘Machine slower too mucher’ Our spirits could not be dampened though and as Charma Gal and DrVom serenaded us in the prelude to the races all that pent-up excitement was released into the afternoon air like a thousand confetti guns had just gone off. The spectatorsseemed to be competing to see who could wave the most enthusiastically and for the longest duration, often resulting in strained smiles and tired arms. Maybe they will try to smooth things over with an apology press conference. I imagine a flustered spokesperson blurting out, ‘Mistakes were made, but to be fair, the officials missed the false start on our planning team.’
The spokesperson will walk onto the stage holding a binder labeled "Damage Control 101," only to accidentally knock over the water jug onto their notes. As they scramble to recover, the first words out of their mouth would probably be something like, ‘We deeply regret the inconvenience this... uh... we may have caused. Moving forward, we'll work to ensure that this type of... um... thing... doesn’t happen. Again.’ Heads to roll? I doubt very much. Heads don’t usually roll in our neck of the woods. I can guarantee that next week you will meet all these officers somewhere in the city complete with their unrolled heads going about their business with no worries in the world.
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ThulaganyoJankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email [email protected].
