90 Minutes of Confusion: Agnes vs Football

You know, those ladies that seemed to have lost their way en route to a nightclub. Usually the Agneses are there for the hot dogs and to see perfectly-toned bodies of players when they take off their tops after scoring a goal. The famous hotdogs from these impromptu restaurants are usually prepared using resilient and recycled cooking oil that is at least four weeks old and has been the passage of many a hotdog. The game hadn’t even started yet, and she was already yelling, “LET’S GOOOOOO!” like she’s trying to summon thunder. Agnes started singing louder than the stadium speakers—off-key, of course. I wasn’t too sure if I was at a match or a one-man concert. I once sat next to an over-enthusiastic fan.

When his team scored, he jumped up, spilled his drink, hugged strangers and started chanting something that sounded suspiciously like a mating call. I was praying that this wasn’t another one.