Holiday-inducing sprint medals

Most mums are very good parents, but maybe not very good judges of athletic ability. You get all sorts of encouragement and accolades from your mum when you start doing those house Olympics which involve running three metres inside the house without any competition. This past month our athletes – the real ones and not you powering on mum vibes - have not only bagged gold medals at the World Athletics Championships, but also triggered a nationwide identity crisis: Are we a country or a sprinting cult? The Ministry of Sport and Arts has reportedly issued a statement declaring, ‘From now on, all citizens must walk with purpose. Jogging is encouraged. Sprinting is patriotic.’

Our boys didn’t only snatch the gold medals but probably made half the stadium Google “Where is Botswana?” Meanwhile, some countries with better facilities – and less medals - have offered to host a joint training camp—Botswana politely declined, citing ‘we train with thunder.’ This is according to the usual unreliable rumour mill.