I can't believe my son murdered his girlfriend

Dear Gaone Please keep my identity anonymous. I write with a heavy heart that is pulsating with pain and many unanswered questions. In the recent past my eldest son killed his girlfriend. I still cannot believe that my son actually committed murder. My son is a responsible and loving person. I tried my level best with his dad to raise him well. Thrice I asked him what transpired on the day he committed murder and he just cried and walked away. I shudder to imagine the pain his girlfriend’s parents are going through. I am going for counselling at the moment but I am concerned about my teenage son. I pray and hope that he won’t murder his girlfriend too at some point when he starts dating. From a gender-based violence perspective, what causes some men to kill women in relationships?

Dear Anonymous There is a plethora explanation as to why some men commit femicide suicide which is popularly known as passion killings in Botswana. This article will touch on some of the motivations behind certain men killing their partners in love relationships. According to the theory of male proprietariness, men in intimate relationships believe that they own women; such men are of the view that no other man must ever date/marry their partners except themselves. They also believe that their female partners ought to stay in relationships with them as long as such men so wish. Because of the patriarchal system men feel entitled to dominate women in love relationships resulting in unequal power in the relationship.

Proponents of the male proprietariness theory argue that femicide suicide is a result of males treating females as their property and therefore feeling like failures when females decide to exit the relationship. On the other hand opponents of the male proprietariness theory proffer that men do not just kill their partners out of the notion that women are their property. Some commit femicide suicide because of the fear of rejection, stress, economic factors e.t.c One of our fundamental needs as human beings is love; it is therefore no thunderbolt that we sometimes fear being rejected by the people we so dearly love.

Editor's Comment
A woman’s right to choose: Or is it?

Here in Botswana, we have many single-parent households, mostly female-led, so what does that suggest? That some fathers choose to ditch the responsibility of caring for their children and leave them to the ones who carry them during pregnancy to do the heavy lifting.Of course, in other dynamics, there are instances where the father wants to keep the baby and the would-be mother does not want to, hence the saying ‘whose body is it anyway’.In...

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