the monitor

INK SPILLS

The death of Chuck Norris resulted in the greatest fuel increase ever experienced in our world.

While the official version of these increases is that Trump has bombed the Strait of Hormuz we don't believe that is the reason. I believe only the legendary powers of Morris are capable of pushing fuel prices up to unprecedented levels. Not some darned straits that we only heard of last month! I tried that trick of fueling up before the prices went up at midnight which I believe is balderdash. But I was right in the mix with the Balderdashians.

That got me to one service station on the outskirts of the city and the attendant shouted 'full tank?'. At this point everyone was ‘full tanking’ and the attendants had that smile, you know the one that says 'this time there's no usual P70 fuel up, you have no choice'.

Editor's Comment
Rising abortion figures demand urgent action

Instead, they should serve as a warning to health authorities, community leaders, and policymakers that something is not right. According to the Palapye District Development Committee’s latest report, 130 abortion cases were recorded between April and June 2026.On the face of it, the overall figure may represent a decline from the preceding quarter. However, going deeper into the figures, the monthly trend tells a different and more worrying...

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