We wore that resilience like a national badge of honour. But alas, nobody informed us that the manufacturers had quietly rebranded the product. What we are currently experiencing comes with a shiny new label: ‘Heat: New and Improved.’ The old heat was straightforward. It arrived in the morning, annoyed everyone until sunset, then went home. The new version appears to have been developed by the same people who design software updates. Nobody asked for it, yet somehow it is more aggressive, more confusing and drains your battery faster.
Naturally, we assumed heat would also know its place. But this new heat clearly never received the memo. We have now become a nation of amateur meteorologists, hydration specialists and thermal management consultants. Every conversation now starts with a weather update. ‘Good morning.’ ‘It's hot.’ ‘Indeed.’ A complete exchange requiring no further elaboration! At bus stops, in supermarkets and at funerals, citizens compare temperatures the way economists compare stock market figures. ‘It was 39 degrees at my house.’ ‘Luxury. We reached 42.’ ‘Amateur numbers.
