There are some that have not quite gained traction but you can be sure Botswana will embrace them as soon as they get the right clout. These are: 1. International Buffering Appreciation Day: A chance to reflect on the important life skills learnt while staring at a spinning circle. 2. World Low Battery Anxiety Day: Participants spend the day carrying their phones like critically ill relatives. 3. Government Workshop Season Opening Day: A ceremonial occasion marking the migration of civil servants to conference venues with excellent buffet facilities. But now humanity has reached peak creativity with "Make a Dog’s Day." There is something deeply unfair about this celebration. For one day each year we are instructed to make dogs happy.
The other 364 days of the year dogs are already dedicated to making us happy. They welcome us home as though we've returned from a three-year diplomatic mission when we've merely gone to buy bread. They never judge our fashion choices. They never ask to borrow money. This raises an important question: have the organisers ever met a dog? Dogs are possibly the only creatures on earth that begin each day already operating at maximum happiness. A dog wakes up and immediately concludes that life is magnificent. The sun exists. You exist. The floor exists. Outstanding. A dog's standards for happiness are absurdly low. In fact, if there's one creature in Botswana that doesn't need a happiness intervention, it's the average village dog. These comrades spend their entire day attending to important national duties. At sunrise they hold barking conferences with neighboring dogs. At 10 a.m. they chase a donkey.
