I am failing to cope after my husband's death

Dear Gaone Please keep my identity anonymous. I am a 26-year-old woman who lost her husband three months back due to COVID-19. We had been married for four years and have a two-year-old son together. My husband was my first love, the only love I have ever known and dreamt of. I felt like I came out of him the way Eve in the Bible was fashioned from Adam’s rib. He was my paradise on earth. Through him a fraction of heaven was hand delivered to me on earth. Ours was a match made in heaven, we were imperfect yet perfectly in love. I do not want to re – marry, for the love he gave me will forever speak from his grave. The past three months have been an emotional hurricane for me. It feels like my soul has been irreparably torn apart and that a part of me is missing. My centre cannot hold. I feel withered and wilted, I have lost my zest for life. My family and friends are supportive, yet the pain I feel is inconsolable. Never before, have I known emotional turmoil of this length and depth. I was on leave and at home with a few relatives the first two months after my hubby’s death. After that I resumed work. At work I would uncontrollably break down due to immense grief, my blood pressure and blood sugar level were ever on steroids. Consequently, my doctors have now recommended me bed rest for a month. Nonetheless, I am concerned as I am not recovering. I need to be strong for myself and son. I need to earn my keep more than ever since I am a young widow but my inner strength keeps failing me. Kindly advise.