In the past, the institution was so highly regarded in that it could determine one's status in the community and society at large. Single women of age were shunned as mafetwa and every parent's wish was to marry off his or her daughter. A man of age who was likewise not married was also poorly regarded and banned from attending meetings and events exclusive to married men. For example, bachelors were not allowed to attend patlo (an event where potential in-laws visit a would-be bride's place to ask for her hand in marriage) and during Kgotla meetings they had little say at times risking being humiliated publicly during debates because of their marriage status.
According to African tradition among the Sotho-Tswana people, elders arranged the union between prospective suitors and women. To avoid temptation, they were kept in separate quarters. Just before the boys and the girls approached manhood and womanhood respectively, they would be taken to separate initiation schools, bogwera and bojale. At bogwera, boys would be taught manly duties and how to be responsible men in the society. They were also taught about marriage and how to be responsible heads of their families. Likewise at bojale, girls were taught how to be responsible women in the society and they were also coached about what marriage entailed. After attending the initiation schools the boys would graduate into manhood while girls graduated into womanhood and this would mean that they were now ready to marry.
