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Of Femicide Suicide & Why Women Cheat On Their Partners

GAONE MONAU
Passion sometimes causes men to kill and commit suicide at the sight of unfaithfulness.

Femicide suicide is the harshest and most unthinkable form of gender based violence. Popularly referred to as ‘passion killings’ in Botswana, femicide suicide is when the male kills his female partner in an intimate relationship and commits suicide thereafter. Men at times kill murder their female partners in the heat of passion when they catch them red – handed with another man. This article seeks to unearth some of the reasons why women cheat on their male partners. I condemn femicide suicide in the strongest terms possible, therefore digging out reasons why women possibly have secret affairs should not be heard or seen to be justifying passion killings.

Bringing to light some of whys and wherefores of why women have hole and corner relationships whilst dating or married is an attempt to somewhat prevent femicide suicide. When husbands are perpetually absent in the home, busy with work and rarely create time for their relationship or kids, some women cheat because of the lack of affection, love and conversation in such a relationship. From the lens of most women, quality time with their husbands and attention from them constitutes love to some extent.

When a man ebbs abuse from his veins, a woman may end up cheating on him. Women do so mostly to seek solace, laughter and the simple joys of companionship from a secret affair. At other times certain females’ philosophies that human beings are not creatures of monogamy explains why such women relentlessly and unapologetically engage in covet affairs outside their relationships.

In other instances women have extra marital affairs in order to revenge after discovering that their partners have been unfaithful. Moreover, ailing economic conditions cause particular females to be unfaithful in the quest for greener pastures. Low self-worth is also one the reasons why ladies may have corner and hole relationships. Some women build their worth based on the calibre of suitors that propose love to them, if the suitor is of a higher ranking in the society, the woman somehow feels validated and approved within. Therefore she accepts such a proposal notwithstanding that she is already in a relationship. It is paramount that busy

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men habitually and intentionally create time for their female partners whilst in a relationship. The price of consistently risking the relationship at the expense of work could have far more dire consequences.

Moreover, it is vital for women to speak out with grace whenever their needs are unmet in a relationship. In some societies, women are raised to be sacrificial lambs and just accept whatever treatment warranted to them without questioning or asserting themselves if need be. As human beings, we are duty bound to assert our human rights.

Thus women ought to assert their human rights by voicing out their needs in a relationship and leaving toxic relationships that endlessly denigrate their value. Self-love also calls for women to have virtues and healthy habits that add value to their lives and keep their spirits high independently of relationships. Though the emotional trauma of adultery can not be downplayed on the innocent partner, revengeful cheating (especially if woman never believed in cheating before) in my humble view constitutes losing one’s identity and principles in the face of adversity and bitterness. The philosophy of some women that human beings are polygamous creatures, can only be changed if such women decide to shift their perspective.

As already espoused in some of my articles, there is greater need for our communities to continue empowering women. More economic opportunities should be created for women. We ought to be taught that we are inherently enough and worthy; that our worthiness emanates from self and not from a man or the externals. Once women are empowered & appreciate their worth they won’t view any relationship as a poverty eradication scheme or worth enhancer, thus reducing their chances of extra marital affairs and abusive relationships. Finally, the monstrous giant of femicide suicide could be partially bruised if men and women in intimate relationships accordingly identified and dealt with the potential causes of unfaithfulness before infidelity struck.

Gaone Monau is a practicing attorney and motivational speaker.For bookings on gender based violence awareness seminars or motivational talks on relationships, confidence building, stress management and self-discovery contact 74542732 or gpmonau@gmail.com. Her facebook page is Be Motivated with Gaone.



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