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Why Africa Should Leave Who And Form What

African diseases are very respectful of other continents.

I mean in my entire life I have heard of very few cases of Ebola making those transatlantic flights to Europe or China. If it gets there it will only afflict a few individuals in a great demonstration of restraint and respect that we Africans usually reserve for hosts.

Not this coronavirus. It just sauntered into Africa like some rogue gun-toting sheriff straight from a Western movie and cowed everyone into their homes. At the height of its infective power, it even attacked presidents and ministers.

Now everyone who knows the history of African presidents they are immune to all sorts of attacks. But corona just landed on these shores and went to town on a few of them. They are usually cocooned in very high security state houses. These fortresses are usually impregnable and not even a mosquito’s fart can squeeze through. But this celebrated virus has not read the script. 

Fighting corona is as frustrating as eating a hamburger with freshly-painted nails. When you think the poison is drained somewhat, and you put citizens out to pasture then a new wave hits the country with terrifying force and frequency. WHO has decided Africa does not have the requisite skills to find a cure for anything. If there’s any hint of discovery of an antidote in Africa WHO, in typical demeaning fashion will ask the clichéd questions

Who says corona has a cure

Who has proof that this cure actually works

WHO should be forced into a accommodative indoctrination camp.

A while ago, Madagascar discovered some tea mixture that they alleged was working the proverbial wonders in the cure for corona. The following scene must have unfolded at the WHO offices. The intern would have walked into the WHO office and waxed lyrical about the discovery of an antidote for corona. Obviously this would be from the Facebook news mill. That is the official platform to break news – genuine, fake and fakegenuine. Fakegenuine is news that was dismissed as fake by a memo which turned out to be fake too. So between the news article and the

memo you have to decide which of the two is genuine. Enough to get one’s knickers in knots!

Anyway, back to the WHO office. The initial euphoria that would have engulfed the office would be dampened somewhat by a more careful office hand that would haul out a map and show exactly where Madagascar is. As soon as the association with Africa was made everyone went back to their work and the office messenger would be recalled from his trip to the wine store.

WHO should be stricken from our memories and incinerated in a rusty furnace. Africans actually do not hate WHO. Far from it! The love we have for WHO is like that of a once-rich uncle who once left the family home to gallivant with women of the world. The one who is now staying in the back room in your grandma’s place who’d talk your ears off about his escapades. Yes, that uncle who you are stuck with for life.

Somewhere in Europe apparently an antidote of sorts has been discovered and the above questions will soon morph into some grand statements like

WHO says corona has a cure

WHO has proof that this cure actually works

You can be sure it was tested on some poor animals who are not affiliated to any sort of SPCA program. Animal families would have been decimated in the process and some would have had to make the ultimate sacrifice to find a cure for....humans!

Africa must form its own WHAT (Worthwhile Health for African Territories) to deal with its own issues and diseases most of which are afraid to cross over to Europe. And China, whose diseases can cross all continents should form its own WHICH (Wondrous Health In China). Then everyone in the kingdom will be happy.

Also, given the legal opportunity, we should gladly persecute anyone who even contemplates going back to WHO to the full extent of the law of the jungle. Maybe some form of kicking of the colon would be in order for all offenders!

(For comments, feedback and insults email

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