Oh laptop, where art thou?

A plea: Help me find a missing laptop with a sleazy porn video.

I’m stressed. I have been quietly searching for a particular laptop, to no avail. I will be doomed if the contents are revealed. Forget those financially troubled folk who are knee-deep in debt...the types who don’t answer their phones, are always ducking and diving and walk facing the ground perhaps hoping they will pick up money; looking worn because of poverty, struggle and the turmoil that comes with being broke is playing havoc with them. My problems are bigger! I haven’t had a proper night’s sleep since that laptop went missing. I can’t even enjoy my meals. It’s not really the laptop I need but the video in the laptop that’s causing me sleepless nights. You see, a former lover had saved a raunchy porn video we filmed sometime ago on this laptop. Unfortunately, some thug broke into their house and fled with the laptop. Bloody idiot!

Imagine what would happen if that video landed in the wrong hands! Firstly, it might end up in the possession of some broke scoundrel who will blackmail me for endless amounts of cash. It might even be uploaded online. I can bet it will go viral. My little dirty secrets will be revealed. Imagine my butt, boobies, spilling girth, love handles and stretch-marks, exposed to the whole world. I will be seen in the most compromising positions, writhing and gnashing like a beast, plummeting the pillows and my face being contorted into weird orgasmic facial expressions as if I’m sucking a lemon. 

Editor's Comment
Has life become worthless?

As many wondered what wrong the young boy could have done to end up killed, it emerged that his own cousin was a suspect in the murder after he claimed P50,000 from Botswana Life. Thato Tsametse, who was last week sentenced to death for the murder of his cousin, had reportedly taken out two Mmoloki Funeral Covers valued at P25,000 each.Over the years, the media has been covering the murder case, and some revelation has come up that certain...

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