Two years ago, I was child protection consultant for the Federal Minister for Education's Safe School Framework. Meetings in Canberra involved representatives from all education sectors. Early childhood representatives confirmed what I already knew: that one of the most sickening problems for staff is the increasing number of very young children who are obsessed with sex. They re-enact their own abuse with dolls or other children. They masturbate continually, sexually abuse others and demand or offer oral sex. Uninformed staff members tend to dismiss this as "early sexual curiosity" or explain it away as "Maybe he saw mum and dad having sex" or "Maybe she saw porn at home" (which constitutes reportable abuse). Staff members seldom think, "Maybe this child is an abuse victim replicating what he has experienced." What they should be asking these children is, "Who showed you how to play that game? Where do you play? Who plays with you?"
Some young victims become young offenders. However, when school and preschool staff and social workers have not been taught how to differentiate normal sexual curiosity from indicators that a child is replicating sexual abuse, complaints by parents and teachers tend to be dismissed by school principals and child protection services. When a parent complained to a teacher that his 5-year-old had been bullied into providing oral sex for a bigger boy, she laughed and said, "Children in this class love to play kiss and tell". When the parent - also a teacher - reported this to the Child Abuse Report-line from my office, he was greeted with more derisive laughter and, "Well, what do you expect us to do? We can't arrest a 6-year-old". Assessment and possibly treatment were needed but the offender was merely reprimanded.
Abused children often give hints to trusted adults hoping that you will help them. They may make a point of telling you that they no longer like visiting a relative or they don't want to go to scouts or they dislike the way that someone teases them or the games that someone plays. If a child trusts you sufficiently to give you hints that there is a problem, you are in the best position to ask basic questions such as "What do you have to do to play the game?" or
"How does he tease you?"
