Author

Thulaganyo Jankie
  • Your Royal Highness!

    Somehow our teachers decided we were not smart enough and kept drilling into our single-digit IQ heads how to address him.   Our teachers kept asking us 'how do you address the Prince of Wales'.  The answer was something like 'your...

  • Gym Membership For The Uninterested

    I had suggested this to my physician and he had strongly chastised me for smoking weed and recommended a visit to a psychiatrist. The flight to the moon was surely better than running along the Western Bypass and exposing your life –the only...

  • I Am A Columnist

    This useful feedback I got from a very helpful reader this past week who was actually very animated and had really solid advice on how to make it better. The chat was very long and one-sided. At the end of the chat COVID-19 had been discovered, a...

  • When Ablutions Cost A Million

    This has not been tested in our shores for two reasons. Anyone who gets hold of a rabbit foot will most probably throw it in a pot to make rabbit stew and eat it. If not, keeping a rabbit foot will most probably get you in trouble with authorities...

  • MmaBoipelego, MmaBoipelego Where Are My Goodies

    Stocks that were on their knees reached record lows. Not MmaBoipelego, the social worker who was going to assess families and recommend Buy Facebook Views them to receive food baskets. As global stocks dropped, MmaBoipelego’s stock rose,...

  • COVID-19: The Battle Between Quarantine and Guarantee

    Fat chance. In these days of COVID-19 the only places anybody is going is to a hotel to be quarantined. Yes, quarantined. Until recently only farmers knew this word and what it meant. Now thanks to COVID-19 this word just rolls off the tongue. As...

  • My First Crush And The Dud Script

    Her uniform was crisp and hugged her provocatively. I couldn’t stop admiring her and one day one of my classmates asked if I was interested in her. I knew I was. He knew I was. I couldn’t respond. She didn’t know it and this is...

  • Auto love- Rattling to the Benz

    She was a bundle of energy and seemed to be running on that endless Duracell power. The day I brought her home my mother hugged her tightly, although in the interest of accuracy, I should tell you that the day before she came, mum also gave a tight...

  • Inventions We Are Waiting For

    Friendzone metre Men, the eternal optimists, misread a greeting, a wink and a pat as a cue to get on the romance ship. On a daily basis ladies have to make a choice between being civil or being downright rude to ward off advances from men merely...

  • UB Wall: The Pummelling and the Profits

    Just one part of the wall though –  the one next to the circle. This is at the same level of fame as the Berlin Wall and the Great Wall of China. Well, you might not have seen it on the hallowed lists of famous Walls. It is because the...

  • Lack Of Talent Show – Bumbling To The Podium

    I had rehearsed for three weeks and had chosen Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat it’. I was confident. I had invited my best friend and had promised him a part of the prize money if I won. I was confident. I was cocky. I had the whole...

  • All That Jazzzzzzz

    To satisfy a delusion that one can immediately afford a car after working for a year which is actually a fallacy, to prove to your ex-girlfriend who dumped you because you could not afford a car that you have arrived and to show off to the village...

  • Honey, The Dog Ate Your Diet Plan

    What with the belly obscuring my shoelaces and making tying them more difficult than painting an elephant’s toenails. I did the math. If I religiously stayed on this diet for eight months I could lose around 96 kg and my weight would be around...

  • The Miracle Cure

    Like they were renting space in your body so you could carry their burdens until the antidote sorted it out. You would wonder if there could be some sort of miracle cure that you could take to relieve your stresses and ailments. Miracle cures...

  • Conversation With A Slay Queen

    They spend hours on Snapchat and Instagram showing off things they don’t even own. I am adding Facebook as another platform they use to show off things they don’t own. I once called myself a slay queen on Facebook and got a huge backlash...

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