Last Updated
Tuesday 24 November 2015, 11:53 am.
Nitty gritty

A questionnaire for sex workers
By Staff Writer Wed 25 Nov 2015, 00:08 am (GMT +2)
Mmegi Online :: Nitty gritty

Hee! Dilo tsa ga chicken! Even a dog would not want to be caught barking at them for fear of being thought an accessory to the fact.Hakere you remember gore last time he was all excited about his latest scam of setting up a franchise chain of the shebeens with a brothel en suite.

Well, as soon as he thought Ausi Maggie was interested in the venture, he set off as quick as lightning bolt that aims at Molepolole and Kanye and never misses its target.He headed straight for the Registry of Companies and registered an employment agency.

Straight away he set up shop, and is at very moment conducting interviews. I must say the response to his adverts was overwhelming.One of the leaflets that was passing around in hair salons, taxis, bars and hotels, went something like this: "Does your lie suck?  Mine does too... Come let's compare notes at this address..."

Another one, posted all over the city and the station area, claims to offer."Job opportunities for young and restless ladies.  No experience needed, just natural talent! The job is so easy you can do it in your sleep! Come to this address for an interview..."

I suspect that this is the one that got them coming in from all over the country.Needless to say, he had taken the liberty to use Ausi Maggie's address and had overlooked the very trivial detail of informing her in advance about the aforementioned interviews.So here we find him in the lounge of Nitty Gritty, sitting upright on the green couch, neatly attired in all the sartorial elegance that his refugee status could allow, engaged in the delicate task of interviewing prospective prostitutes.

The questionnaire is very straight forward really, and requires the short listed candidates to

answer the following questions:

*Why do you want this job?
*What other English words can be used to replace these: me nice
*In a few words, how could you describe this job?
*Who is your role model?
*Do you need on the job training?
*Do you want to work part-time, full time or overtime?
*Why do you think you are the right person for the job?
*Does your husband/man/partner/mother know you are here?
*Do you know any important people in high places?
*Are you an undercover agent for the DIS or CID?
*Where do you see yourself five years from now?
*Do you practice safe sex?
*List of required reading: Penthouse, Hustler, The Kama Sutra, Daily News.
*No union membership encouraged
*This job has no security, no pension plan, no medical aid, no packages except free condoms, no fixed salaries.  You work on commission basis.

*We do not pay for car allowance, mileage claims, accommodation, entertainment allowance.
As the queue got longer and longer, Ausi Maggie got more than a little suspicious and demanded to know what was going on.

Chicken, who is always quick on the rebound of rebuttal, answered: "Oh, it's nothing much, I'm just interviewing agents to market ancient service in a modern, new and exciting way!"

But Ausi Maggie is no pushover: "So where is it?"

"Er, well I will have to say that in all truthfulness it's about to come!" responds Chicken, without taking a single breath.

"Well I will have to say in all forthrightness that if it ain't here and it ain't tax free, then I ain't buying!  So get out!"

And thus endeth another potential money-making venture as it wenteth down the drain.

Chicken will have to start on a clean sheet, so to speak.

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