Zimbabwe's untiring political prostitutes

TANONOKA JOSEPH WHANDE | Friday July 11, 2008 00:00

How do people do it?
Do they relieve themselves of their conscience in order to do those things that would revolt even a dog that calls its own vomit a meal?

And yet it all started with Robert Mugabe.
Unsure of the effect his gimmick of planting Simba Makoni as a decoy presidential candidate would actually yield, Mugabe called Makoni a prostitute.

Makoni had done nothing to deserve such a label. He did not deserve it because he was always ZANU-PF and even when he 'ran', he never really demonized his mentor Mugabe and their party.

Maybe it was an effort, on Mugabe's part, to make people think that Makoni was a serious candidate, independent of ZANU-PF, and was, therefore, to be scolded like all others who craved for Mugabe's position.

So, I sit here wondering if Mugabe can identify a political prostitute if he met one, which he actually did but failed to recognize.

And with the way he and Mutambara were holding hands and patting each other on the upper arms, like a goalkeeper being congratulated for saving a penalty, I could see that Mugabe's words are not used to express truth.

Arthur Mutambara and Robert Mugabe? Strange; but then, now more than ever, Mugabe needs political prostitutes more than a man emerging from a 20-year jail term. It's amazing, isn't it? And, with the ever present sell-out of them all, Welshman Ncube, in attendance, this opposition party was having a ball.

Followers of Mutambara's MDC must be as confused as chickens trying to run away from a snake in a locked henhouse. They do not know what they ought to believe in or stand for. There is no ideology to protect, promote and broadcast.

They are just made to follow a person. Ncube and Mutambara are making themselves the biggest and most shameless political prostitutes Zimbabwe has ever produced. Why do they always appear to muddy the waters?

Ncube almost murdered the Movement for Democratic Change. And if it were not for him molly-cuddling ZANU-PF, there would not have been a run-off election that demanded from us the lives of our fellow innocent Zimbabweans.

After installing Arthur Mutambara as 'President of the MDC' and with the help of the man who, behind Mugabe, has caused the deaths of more Zimbabweans than anyone else, South African President Thabo Mbeki, Ncube went to work for his masters and muddied the waters so much that the MDC factions spent most of their time hurling insults and abuses at each other and using press conferences to deny what the other group had said.

Precious attention and time were diverted from campaigning against Mugabe and the spotlight was on Ncube's group and its constant verbal abuse of Tsvangirai and his followers.

Charges and counter-charges went flying as Mutambara's people forgot their 'mandate' and spent time bad-mouthing the wrong party and leader.

However, Tsvangirai prevailed because people saw Ncube and his group of termites for what they were: destructive insects that chew a house from inside.

Then came the elections and Ncube, knowing fully well that he had no support even along tribal lines where he had hoped would keep him and his troupe afloat, flirted with the idea of joining Tsvangirai's MDC and fight elections together.

Again, they were seen for what they truly are and the deal fell through. Then Makoni made a belated entry into the presidential elections race.

As soon as Makoni confirmed his participation, Ncube urged his poor abused followers to back Makoni who kept refusing to denounce ZANU-PF but just continued telling people that he was not running against Mugabe but was running for the people, whatever it is he was trying to say.

Sure enough, Mutambara held 'meetings' with Makoni resulting in his faction's support for Makoni.

In spite of that, Makoni got no more than 8 percent of the presidential vote and Mutambara, Ncube and their 'top leadership' all failed to win parliamentary seats.

Please don't go away. If you smell anything funny, it's because, we are approaching the brothel. Once again, Tsvangirai triumphed and beat all the presidential candidates by popular vote and a run-off election was cooked up.

Ncube and Mutambara, once again, actually spent time scratching their heads trying to figure out who to support in the run-off election: Mugabe or Tsvangirai. They held 'talks' with Tsvangirai's MDC but, in the end, would not tell their followers to vote for Tsvangirai.

We can fill in the blanks, thank you. Meanwhile, Mbeki was being embarrassed (as if he has any political decency to care) by what was going on in Zimbabwe.

He lied, as usual, that he had the Zimbabwean issue under control. But wherever he went, at home and abroad, Mbeki was confronted by his ineptitude and failure exemplified by his pathetic stand on Zimbabwe.

So last week, like he has always done when going somewhere where he knew Zimbabwe would be an issue, Mbeki went to Zimbabwe first before flying to Japan for the G8 Summit.

As usual, the media was told a lot of crap that Mbeki had presented a plan to Zimbabwe's political leaders 'that would allow Robert Mugabe to remain as a titular head of state but surrender real power to the opposition leader, Morgan Tsvangirai, who would serve as prime minister until a new constitution was negotiated and fresh elections held.'

I do not know if Mbeki forgets the path he has walked on before but, apparently, he does because he keeps presenting the same rejected 'solution' over and over again.

This time, we are told, the MDC party leadership 'found itself in surprising agreement with much of what Mbeki was proposing, describing it as an important shift from what the opposition described as his previous positions aimed at propping up Mugabe.'

Then Mbeki flew to Japan because he had shown the world that he is 'making progress'. That's a load of manure. To my knowledge, it's only beetles that can use dung to sustain life!  Tsvangirai denied agreeing to anything Mbeki brought. He is reported to have boycotted a meeting with Mbeki who went on to meet with Mugabe.

Guess who else met Mbeki? Arthur Mutambara and Welshman Ncube, of course! Who they were representing, only God knows! But, yes Ncube and Mutambara were there too and we saw Mutambara laughing and holding hands with Mugabe like two farmers overjoyed after having recovered their lost cattle.

You can always bet on Mbeki to negotiate with the wrong people and so there it was, a photograph of Mugabe, Mbeki and Mutambara.

Behind Welshman Ncube, Arthur Mutambara has turned himself into the most educated political prostitute Zimbabwe has ever produced.

These two, must, of necessity, preach something that people can grasp and believe in. I find it absolutely insane that Ncube and Mutambara can, at one time, easily stand side by side with Morgan Tsvangirai, then with Simba Makoni and even with ZANU-PF. This nonsense must stop because they should have seen by now that their behaviour not only perpetuates confusion in our politics but also prevents the people from achieving their goal. They are helping Mugabe.

And in case Ncube and his mites do not know, the goal right now is to remove Robert Mugabe not to cut deals with him.