Demented husband ravages step-daughter

MARTIN NYIRENDA
Correspondent | Thursday January 17, 2008 00:00

The abuse by her step-father with the connivance of her mother caused severe pain that resulted in permanent scars on her back and head. 'I was 12-years-old then. When I came home, my mother asked me to go straight to my room and sleep. The lock on the door was removed that day. While sleeping, my step-father came into the room and forced himself on me without removing my sleeping attire.

'I screamed but he hit me in my face while he covered me with a blanket. The first time I was raped, I thought my mother did not know and he threatened to beat me up if I told anyone. He continued to rape me without any form of protection,' she says.

For years, her step-father frequently slept with her the whole night. 'I just allowed him to do whatever he wanted for so many years. He raped me throughout my junior and secondary school,' she says. She visited her grandparents in the village when she was about 15 years and reported the sexual abuse to her aunt and grandmother. The elders attempted to intervene but to no avail. Her mother said that they were threatening her new marriage to a loving and caring man who would dare not do such evil.

The step-father imposed restrictions on the young girl and limited the number of friends that could visit her.

'I was like married to him, helping my mother in one way or the other. My mother was not bothered in any way at all. She seemed to enjoy seeing me being raped by a man parading as her husband.'

Pamela developed vaginal sores and bleeding. She released puss with an irritating smell. Each time her step-father raped her, her mother would provide her with herbs to prevent her getting pregnant.

While being raped, her step-father would tell her that she was the best girl he had ever come across in his life and that her mother was useless.

'He used to tell me that I am sweet and that my mother is stupid. He said he wished he could have children with me and that he did not mind marrying me.

'My mother used me to keep that man. I became like the first wife of this man and I experienced serious abuse, including physical, sexual, emotional, neglect and psychological.

'My step-father would strip me naked and kick me all over the body before raping me. Each time we had visitors in the house, my mother always allowed me to sleep alone in the room so that the man could come in the night.

'Sometimes my mother would just call me to her bedroom during weekends where I would find my step-father naked waiting for me. There were moments when he would just pull up my short skirt instead of undressing me before starting to rape me.

'It was not possible to report the abuse to the police because of perpetual threats from both my mother and step-father,' she says.

Childline Botswana says that about 80 percent of sexual abuse victims are abused by people known to or trusted by them - a parent, step-parent, brother, uncle, grandparent, family friends and baby sitters.

In many households, gender-based abuse - especially child abuse is concealed within the basic cultural practices and norms adopted by society.

'I grew up in a painful environment,' cries Pamela, who is currently undergoing extensive counseling to repair her mind.

It is the way she grew up that lucidly explains her somewhat abnormal behaviour and how she gloomily perceives every other old man she comes across. Her reproductive organs have been damaged and medical experts told her that her womb has a problem.