Bogadi to be standardised?

LAWRENCE SERETSE
Correspondent | Friday June 15, 2012 00:00

 

The Chief asserts this is because parents overcharge for bogadi and put forward all kinds of arguments to scale up the woman's value as if they are commercial commodities. A motion has been raised by the House of Chiefs that bogadi should be standardised across all tribes to curb cohabitation and fornication. Kgosi Ebineng explained how men often argue in their case against getting married;'why buy the cow when the milk is free',  thus remaining in a cohabitation partnership. He said paying bogadi is an honourable thing to do since it shows a man's qualities of protector, provider and head of the family.  Kgosi Ebineng said initiatives such as Re A Nyalana comes both as a response to and in an effort to curb the commodification of women.

He said bogadi is known to have created disputes between sons and parents. Media reports have shown how infanticide in India is prevalent, especially of female babies. In India, the bogadi process is reversed; the woman pays the dowry and the man inherits her surname. Realising how expensive it is, some parents have been known to murder the female babies.

Originally, bogadi was a token of appreciation given by men who wish to express their gratitude to the bride's parents for providing him with a beautiful and well-bred wife. Traditionally it was just a handful of animals- maybe two or three given as a gift on the day of marriage and another one for the wedding feast. The men's parents sometimes gave another cow at the birth of their first child in marriage, 'the milk cow' it was called. It was given to provide milk for the newborn and the mother. It also represented a symbol of fertility and wishes for a productive marriage.

In some tribes, like Balete, as recently as 20 years ago, if a Ga-Malete man marries within the tribe there was no transaction of bogadi. He would, however provide a bull for the feast. This is no longer the case as times have really changed.

Now, parents will point out how their child is educated and how educating their daughter has cost them. They conveniently are oblivious to the fact that education in Botswana has been free for the past 20 years.Bogadi is prohibitive, people end up living in sin without the blessing of their parents, Church or State.

Regardless of the issue of women's liberal advancement and attaining of high positions in recent years, universally women still look up to men as providers. The nature of the dichotomous relationship between men and women has always been women expecting men to give. Even if they earn the same salaries, a man is still expected to provide or have a car that she cannot afford herself. This justifies the saying, 'the rooster shuffles for the hens and chicks but the hen does not shuffle for the rooster.'

Kgosi Mosadi Seboko emphasised that this should not be mistaken as dikgosi calling for obliteration of bogadi.

'We want it to be controlled properly to encourage young minds to engage in marriages and build families, because that it how we believe a community should function, as a family,' she noted. Interviewed individuals have expressed how weddings have become too costly to the extent that people take out loans to pay for bogadi and tend to the ceremony requirements.

Tshepang Kabelano, University Of Botswana student, said bogadi should just be abolished because it has lost its essence and meaning. 'The practice is being abused - people are ripped off their wealth in the name of bogadi, furthermore after a divorce one does not get paid back anything,' he said.

What the community thinks...Facebook Comments Ronil Besele: Kante where does bogadi go once it is paid? Who actually gets to keep those cows or the cash?

It's kind of unfair to expect newly weds to start their life together with a debt from bogadi, on top of all the debts incurred from the marriage. Because that's what happens after the party is over & everybody walks away, the newly weds have to start their life.

This bogadi money could be going towards a mortgage for the couple's first home or family car. I don't think we should drop bogadi altogether because it is an important part of our culture, but it would be good if we could rethink it & make it more applicable to modern times.

Maybe government should tax it & use the money to help newly wed couples.

Dimpho Loiti: Dikgosi, please reduce to two cows plus a goat as bonus. If one takes 200 thousand loan for wedding expenses then next week the relationship is sour #doomed

Dre Keitumetse: Ba re thusitse, some parents ba iketsha mo dikolotong ka madi a bogadi. Go a tura go nyala bagaetsho, ha o bona ko- Kgatleng ko Bokaa ba nyadisitswe ka kgang ele bo mdala le basadibagolo, ene ele ha kgang ya gore bo a pala bogadi, must dikgosi di ithaganne kgang eo re ise re tsohale re nyale.

Lawrence Alie Nyoni: Just make marriage free. This bogadi thing is irrelevant; there is no longer any 'Segametsi', they all stay in town, your mum still has to cook for herself.