I am happy in my polygamous marriage - Dhlamini

ONALENNA MODIKWA
Staff Writer | Thursday April 19, 2012 00:00

 

He lives with his two Zimbabwean-born wives on a farm in Phokoje, which is located between Selebi-Phikwe and Mmadinare. About 800 metres from the main house where the senior wife lives, is a smaller house belonging to the junior wife.

The 60-years-old Dhlamini who was born in Botswana, of parents who originated from Zimbabwe, views polygamy as a normal practice that is only rare in Botswana because Batswana men shy away from providing for their wives. 'My father had four wives. Batswana used to marry many wives. I am a Motswana who enjoys every right here,' he said.

He was previously married to a Motswana woman. 'Batswana women are lazy and troublesome. They are good at depleting family wealth. Batswana gape ba dingalo ga o kake wa ba pataganya,' he said.

The senior wife is 32-years-old while the junior one is 29 years of age. As The Monitor was chatting with the senior wife and the husband, the junior wife brought Dhlamini food before retreating to her house. 'The person who was here with the tray of food is the junior wife,' said Mma Dhlamini senior.

The senior wife explained how peacefully they relate and enjoy each other's company. She stressed that it is just fine that they share a husband.

'We are okay with our Dhlamini. He has a schedule for us. He stays in my house for two days then goes to the junior wife for another two days. We are just okay with it,' says the senior wife. On The Monitor's visit, Dhlamini had gone to the main house to check the progress of renovations there.

The junior wife brought him food at the senior house because the day was the small house's to host Dhlamini. Mma Dhlamini senior said this was indicative of a good relationship. 'I sometimes even visit the junior wife just for a night out and a chat. He told me before we got married that he wants to marry more wives,' she said, adding that she thinks that he would not take another wife anymore on account of old age.

'I was not part of the negotiations when he married the junior wife but I have visited her home village as is tradition,' she said. She related that in the olden days, a man's wives lived under one roof. That is currently impossible as each wife has to have her own property, she said.

'Gape basadi ga ba tshwane- yo mongwe o kgona go nna setshwakga yo mongwe a siame,' she said. The big farm they live in is divided into paddocks. One portion is reserved for livestock rearing while the other is for crop production.

There is also an orchard with over 30 trees. The two women's day starts with pumping water from a borehole in the farm to water the trees. 'A Motswana wife will never do that. But it is worth doing it because we want this farm to be the envy of many people,' said the senior wife.

Dhlamini consults his wives on the family's operational issues and allows each to make an input. 'They are also free to present any ideas they may have. I will stay with just the two of them on condition that they behave well,' said Dhlamini.

The family lost property and the main house's roof thanks to the storm that swept through the area four months ago. They were allocated large tents and assisted with an emergency food basket on the day of the disaster.

Since then they survive through handouts from well wishers. Some local companies and individuals have made donations in the form of building materials. Part of the house is being roofed.

'I appeal for assistance from the general public, companies and business people. My kids have been sleeping outside since the storm struck and we are vulnerable to snake attacks. We have killed many around the tents,' he added

Dhlamini used to sell crafts he makes by the Mmadinare juncture. He has since relocated from the juncture to his farm because the business was no longer generating good income. 'I also wanted a more open space. I had stopped selling my products from the farm because the landboard told me never to operate the business inside the farm.

'I had to wait for a certificate that would convert the communal land into business land,' he explained. He said that he successfully got the certificate but now the business is crippled by lack of funds. 'I have good plans and strategies to resuscitate my business but I need money. I plead with compassionate people to help me,' he pleaded.

He said he was trained in making crafts in Zimbabwe and is interested in imparting the knowledge to Batswana.

He said that he has discovered that Batswana are not interested in manual work as a means of survival.