The New BUM Party Recruits Members

By Gasebalwe Seretse
Staff writer | Monday May 28, 2007 00:00

The journey to being the president of the party, which is becoming increasingly popular, was not an easy one. Masheane first realised that she had the right assets (in this case bums) to be the future revolutionary female leader of the continent of Africa when at a tender age of nine, a dirty old man, at a construction site near her home, shouted in Sesotho to his fellow worker after watching her innocently swaying her booties and hips, 'Heela Mofokeng a ko o bone ngwanana ona ntate.'

From that time on, Napo has had a love/hate relationship with her 'bootyliscious' behind.
The well-endowed multi-talented actress took her audience at the Maitisong hall through her not-so-rosy journey to the presidency of BUM leaving them in fits of laughter. At first, she stood gallantly like a woman-warrior and declared that she had issues with the media. The media, she believes only feature toothpick-thin women in their magazines and she despises that with passion.

'Why is it that a woman like me never makes it to the cover of some stupid glossy magazine?' she demanded to know.

She went on to appeal to Batswana and other Africans to stop 'globalising' African women's bodies.

From there, to the amusement of comedy lovers who converged at the hall, the comedian started pampering her large behind with words of praise, 'I am a mine full of gold and all of you need to dig hard to find it.'

According to Masheane, her bum has big dreams, ideas and plans. And to ward off potential mockers she warned, 'My bum has an opinion, too. Go home and have something concrete to gossip about.'

Like most people who have issues with their bodies, the actress says before accepting her status, she had been a victim of unscrupulous salespersons who never tire of promoting 'magic' products that they claim could reduce or enlarge organs. She got one such product at a tea party and the saleslady told her that she had to apply some curious cream to her butt and tightly wrap it with plastic. The ecstatic Masheane was supposed to wear this uncomfortable underwear for eight hours each day for nine days. Although the actress forgot to mention whether the 'magic potion' worked or not, Masheane's big bum is still there for all to either admire or mock.

The beautiful actress dramatically demonstrated how as a young girl, she used to hit her bum against a wall to try to make it smaller.

She went on to say that her big butt has attracted unwanted attention. During a visit to a shopping mall in Germany, a group of six white girls started pointing fingers at her and giggling endlessly. At first she feared all the giggling was prompted by the colour of her skin but then she realized that her fellow black Africans were not getting the same attention. To her utter horror, she realised that the insensitive teenagers were mocking her big behind.

'At that moment, I knew that the joke was definitely my butt and I was completely humiliated. I felt like a modern-day Saartjie Baartman,' she recalls.

Baartman was the Khoi-khoi woman with the extra-ordinarily big butt who centuries back was captured by Europeans in the Cape and forced to tour Europe as part of a freak-show. She latter died a poor prostitute.

Unlike Baartman, Masheane refuses to be a victim of other people's uncaring ways and conceptualised the comedy My Bum Is Genetic: Deal With It. Unlike her forebear (the very unfortunate Baartman), she displays her bum because she wants to, not because of a taskmaster's whip.  It is clear from her performance that Masheane has developed a thick skin and that she can scoff at those who want to victimise her. And to potential mockers, she has a parting shot, 'I am blessed, highly favoured and really smart. This bum is not a curse or a scar.'

Although the Gabo-rone audience was relatively small (Masheane's European shows were reportedly sold out), Batswana comedy lovers got their money's worth.