Child car seat, when is it a law?

WAZHA DITSHEKO | Thursday February 10, 2011 00:00

When they asked me what they must get me, I decided on a car seat. He still rides in it and will continue to do so until he is five years old when I'll get him a different one.

My parents were spellbound when they saw him peacefully sleeping in the car seat at three months. Yes, as soon as you hit the road he falls asleep and remains in that state for most of the trip.

I guess being secured in his seat gives him some assurance that he is safe, hence the swift and sweet slumber. Some people thought we were turning ourselves into 'Americans'. Some were offended to always find his seat securing its place in the car because it denied them the opportunity to sit comfortably, at times forcing adults to jump in the back of the pickup. Our son, because he was the youngest, deserved to jump back there with his small cousins and allow adults to sit upfront cosily.

If only they knew how much I appreciated the gift because his parents are travellers and we would not be at ease with either of us having to hold the baby for long distance; with the many accidents that occur on our roads, it would not be safe at all.

'This seat is secured here and never ever leaves,' my husband, Enole, candidly told some friends back in 2009, who were busy undoing the car seat without our permission.

They did not take kindly to that statement. They went to the back of the pickup grumbling and muttering under their breaths.

As we prepared for our visit to the United States of America this past December, one question kept cropping up from different families who were going to host us, whether we were bringing a car seat with us? And our answer was the same always: 'Not from Africa.'  As our ancestors coined the proverb - 'Go tsamaya ke go bona' (to travel means seeing), my eyes have been opened widely to an issue that many of us here might not take too seriously. Our friend, Busani Ntini, Zimbabwe-born drove us from Washington DC to Harrisonburg, Virginia on a Wednesday night, a two-hour stretch and dropped us with Thomas Mboya from Kenya for two nights. He came for us on Friday night.

'As I was driving back the other night, I phoned my wife in Canada. She asked the age of the boy. She freaked out. ]Now, I'm not taking that risk again,' he surprised us.

He opened a box from Wal-Mart in which pieces of a car seat were quickly assembled and secured to the back seat of his Land Cruiser.

'Do you know how much I would have paid, if the cops had stopped us that night?'

'I can't imagine. But what are you going to do with the car seat since you guys have no kids,' Enole asked him. 'I have 30 days to try it and I can return it without even offering a reason. So immediately you leave, I'll return it to Wal-Mart.' We all laughed.

Arriving in Elkhart, Indiana, our host apparently confused Mogolodi with our 12-year old nephew and therefore did not have a car seat for him. As he picked us from the terminal that night, Steve Wiebe-Johnson told us later on that it was the combination of darkness and grace; an awkward pair that made us slip by the police. The next morning, we went on a hunt for a car seat and had to take Mogolodi along, again, without a car seat. Along the way, Steve moved on to the left lane to pass other cars (Americans drive on the right and pass on the left).

Alas! In front of him was a police car, you should have seen him veering back to the right to avoid the traffic cop seeing the little one unstrapped. I even had to press the poor boy down completely out of the policeman's sight. If the policeman had seen us we would have been in trouble, and more so the driver who knows the law.

Maybe we would have escaped under the guise of being Africans, but mind you, ignorance is not a reason to escape the wrath of the law when it has been disobeyed. This time around, it was the light and cheating that saved us. Eventually we got a car seat for Mogolodi. One brand new car seat had to be purchased and secured immediately for the five days we spent with Steve's family.  'I can't understand these laws. I am American but they drive me nuts,' stressed Steve.'Why?' I asked.

'The lack of consistency in application of them is what upsets me. My kids are all grown-up, thanks very much. But is it a booster seat or a car seat and for what age?' he fumed.

We both remained quiet. We did not know what a booster seat was, so we were not helpful. At the end of our five days, we decided to take the train to Chicago en route Bloomington. With our share of belongings which already hurt our muscles, we could not take the car seat with us.

It remained behind with Mogolodi's name ingrained on it. When our friend, Tim Bertsche fetched us from the station that night, his Chrysler van had a car seat secured for Mogolodi. They organised one for him and it was his to keep.

Like the Wiebe-Johnsons, Bertsches' children are young adults. For the week we were with them, my boy travelled safely secured.

'Mama, buckle me up,' Mogolodi would beg, if ever either of us did not do it. Already, he knows it is our duty to safely secure him in his seat before we drive away. He is a constant reminder of safety, and in a way, nudging us to also make sure our seat belts are on.

'People here don't like to give the police money on things they can avoid,' Tim explained.  'Is it really about Americans being thrifty? Or they are afraid of breaking the law and facing the consequences? My general impression is that you got an effective law-enforcement system and people know what it means to be caught on the wrong side of the law,' Enole commented.

'I'll say both. Americans cherish the spirit of hard work. They believe money is the result of hard work. They value it.

While in Botswana someone can readily give you P100, here we would rather loan you $20 to buy a burger so you can return it later, when you've worked and earned it. So, if you don't secure your child in his seat and the police stop you, it is viewed as irresponsible of you as a parent - it is like you have money you want to donate.'  'Maybe we need that mindset in Botswana to avoid some of these fines.

I agree we can't avoid every fine, but some like seat belts can be avoided easily,' I made my point. So, I knew it was breaking the law to travel with a baby without a car seat from these two visits in two states where each has its own laws and rules.  I heard the natives talk about car seats and their importance. At the end of our week-long stay, our friends from Nebraska were picking us near Interstate 80 on the way to Michigan for Christmas. Mogolodi travelled securely fastened in Tim's car to La Salle Peru, where Norm and Linda Yoder were waiting to take over the responsibility of ensuring Mogolodi was safe and secure. All the way from Nebraska, the Yoders did not want to assume anything - they had our baby car seat secured in their van.

It was the third car seat organised for Mogolodi, which he would leave behind at the end of our visit. Here we were -car seats for one baby. 

Tim had to drive back to Morton and keep it in the basement until further notice.  He jumped into the new seat and we headed to Michigan and didn't he sleep his way through!  All these travels, as a mother, I gave the issue of car seats the attention it deserves. After the Christmas holidays, we headed to Nebraska to spend New Year at the Yoders' house. It was after New Year that Enole and I decided to obtain US drivers' licenses as we no longer had the luxury of being chauffeured since our hosts were back at their jobs.

But the vehicles were parked in the garages or could be made available to us if we needed to hit the malls or go on an excursion.

Yes, I obtained mine on the 4th and Enole got his driver's licence on January 6th. While studying hard for the written examination, I read the law in black and white regarding car seats.  Though each of the 50 states has its own laws, the majority of them agree that children up to age six must travel safely secured in their car seats. According to the Nebraska Driver's Manual 'Children up to age six must ride secured in a federally approved child safety seat (Primary law) and Children aged six up to 18 must ride secured in a safety belt or child safety seat (Secondary Law).'

Primary Law means any person driving can be stopped and ticketed solely for this violation and Secondary Law means drivers are cited for this violation only if stopped and ticketed for another violation. So it wasn't that our American friends had just made it up. Dare to cross the police in the States; you will regret having done that.

I was not about to do that, nor was I ready to take risks with the life of my only precious little boy.

Driving from one state to the next, I saw many road signs which alerted motorists about putting on seat belts. 'Click it on, it's the law,' 'Put on your seat belt, it's the law,' 'Put on your seat belt, save a life,' and many echoing almost the same message about safety.  With all these signs, it really registered in my mind how serious this law was. I was taken back to my country and wondered if we had such rules on car seats.

I scratched my head hard but could not remember seeing any.

I know it is always emphasised especially during public holidays that motorists should put on their seat belts but I do not have any recollection of children having to be buckled up in their car seats, nor do I remember ever seeing or hearing of anyone being caught and fined for riding with a child who does not have a car seat.  I have secured my baby in a car seat since he was three months old, not because I knew it was written somewhere in a rule book, but because I was securing his utmost safety.

I must say though, that I am disappointed and at times infuriated by men and women who think they share great love for their children by travelling with toddlers standing in-between the front seats.

I wonder if such parents are oblivious to the fact that accidents, just like death are not planned, they just happen any time and with a child standing in between seats, a sudden brake can result in the child being thrown out of the windshield on to the ground. If one can afford a car, I would think affording a car seat for a child is not an accessory, so why not do it? I don't think any parent would have peace in his or her soul, if a God-given gift of a beautiful life were to perish, or suddenly a child got paralysed as a result of not instilling in the child from an early age, the importance of safety aboard a vehicle. 

One may say, our parents travelled with us unstrapped back in the days and nothing happened, why should we worry about our own today? I think that is oversimplification of matters that need our immediate attention as mothers and fathers.

How many of our parents did actually have vehicles? The frequency with which we use vehicles today puts all of us at very high risk of getting hurt in motor accidents.

The question is not about back then; it's about now. Do you love your child? If you do, you will do what is right and best for him or her.