Mashonja relives abuse

Staff Writer | Monday December 12, 2011 00:00

 

On the eve of her 48th birthday (on Thursday) Mashonja made startling revelations at a fully packed hall of The Rock Church during an occasion marking the Police Northern Division symposium on the 16 Days of Activism Against Violence on Women and Children.

The event had attracted police officers representing the six police districts in the northern division and the entire 32 police stations across the Northern Division were duly represented.

'I got married in 1986 at the age of 23,' Mashonja started off what would later leave many astonished. 'I had worked for Botswana Police Service for three years when I got married. I was reluctant to get married because I had done nothing for myself and my family too.'

Nonetheless, she was convinced to marry the man that was her love.  'He had promised me that he would assist me at my parents' home, of which I ended up getting married. My husband was staying with his uncle at his uncle's place at the time.'

She said that she then suggested to him, 'we should look for a plot to build our own home of which we did.  I had taken a loan to contribute towards the construction of the house.'

As it is procedure with government employees, Mashonja combined her salary with her husband's so that they qualify to purchase a new motor vehicle, which was registered in her husband's name.

In 1988, she was blessed with a baby girl from the marriage and another baby girl in 1991 was born.  The promising marriage, she said, turned nasty only when she went on maternity leave for the second child.

'My husband started a relationship with a student teacher and started accusing me of bewitching him and when I cooked he did not eat.  I reported all this to his uncle who kept on promising to confront him but nothing was done,' she related.

As she relived the 1991 experience, Mashonja remembered during Christmas when her mother-in-law paid them a visit and she narrated her experience and only to be given thec cold shoulder.  'I was so hurt and decided to leave.'

As a person who likes sharing her experiences with her closest friends, she went to Gweta and related her story to a friend who gave her support.

Confronted by the challenge of her collapsing marriage, Mashonja decided to form a netball team together with police officers Superintendent Osupile and retired police officer Rakgole as well as the wives of some police officers who were staying in the camp.

In 1992 Mashonja was slapped with a divorce letter of which she informed her uncles who could not do anything to help her out.

'You know as a woman, I had completed building the house at home when we divorced. He wanted to keep everything that we had accumulated together, including cattle, the bakkie and others,' she said indicating that she objected and suggested that the bakkie and the cattle be sold so that they share the proceedings.

She said her husband only released the household items after the suggestion to sell both the bakkie and cattle was raised.  'I did not have a house to keep any of the goods and thanks to my brother who gave me a one-roomed house to store them.  By then she had three children.

When they ultimately divorced, the husband was supposed to build her a house but as fate would have it, he died before he could do it. Mashonja said after her husband's death, she watched her mother-in-law take everything that was part of their estate - money, the bakkie, house, cattle and other valuables.

It was then that Mashonja noticed a need to start a new life and she said it was only through the power of God that she managed to build a four-roomed house.

Two of her four children are now working and the other two are still studying; one is training at Institute of Health Sciences and the last-born is doing Form Two.

'Let me take this opportunity to advise other women that marriage is a challenge and they should expect good and bad out of it,' she said.  Mashonja also warned women to learn to share hardships with people they trust in order to overcome stress.  Another police officer, Inspector Jayson Tau of Central Police station in Francistown made a confession that years back before he became a 'born again' Christian, he used to bash his wife.

He said there was a time when the wife reported him to his station commander indicating that the matter could not go anywhere because he was able to outwit her given his gift of the garb.

'Men, we should be born again to be able to tolerate the wishes and aspirations of our partners.  We should live for God and stop pushing the devil's agenda as it is ungodly to continue bashing your wives,' he advised.