Kingdom Here We Come

| Monday September 6, 2010 00:00

 

Zola Budd to MbabaneThe journey into the Kingdom of Swaziland begins on a taxi from Johannesburg, commonly known as 'Zola Budd' - nicknamed after that famous South African cross-country athlete of the 80s. I am with Guardian/Sun photojournalist Pako Lesejane. Fellow traveller Sonny Serite, columnist from The Telegragh promises to catch up on the way. At the Kopfontein border into South Africa, two passengers, one from Nigeria and the other from Zimbabwe, are refused entry. We arrive in Johannesburg before lunchtime and quickly board another taxi to Mbabane. Joburg-Mbabane taxi is frail and slower than the Zola Budd from Gaborone. Five minutes into Swaziland border and only 10 minutes remaining to reach Mbabane our taxi gets stuck on the highway. Another taxi is called to rescue us.

Myxo's lousy BackpackersThe taxi drops us at Manzini bus station and our host, Myxo Dlamini is already waiting at the agreed stop. His backpackers' lodge, though, turns out to be too miserable than we anticipated. It does not even have cold local beer and worse they are located about 10km away from the nearest pub. Quizzed on Swaziland's hot spots, Dlamini tells us that everything happens between Manzini and Mbabane, yet his lousy lodge is deep on the hills behind Manzini. We decide to cut our stay to one night instead of five. We spend most of the night planning our escape and phoning in search of better accommodation. Most of the hotels and lodges are fully booked due to the ongoing COMESA summit and visitors for the Umhlanga (Reed dance) ceremony. In the morning after a night of fruitless search we decide to checkout regardless.

Umhlanga AccreditationAfter warnings that only accredited photographers would be allowed to take pictures at the ceremony, we head to the Broadcasting and Information Services section in Mbabane to meet Welile Dlamini. It turns out he is no longer doing the accreditation. He refers us to another Dlamini, Martin Dlamini (it appears every second person in Swaziland is Dlamini). We are told the new Dlamini, who is in charge of the accreditation, is at the Convention Centre in Ezulwini, a few kilometres outside Mbabane towards Manzini.

COMESA summit is hosted here, and there is no Martin Dlamini. His mobile phone is unavailable. We pass time with free Internet at the summit's Media Centre and sorting out the small matter of accommodation. Towards lunch-time we get hold of Martin who tells us that we need to download forms for the accreditation and deliver them in person at the Ministry of Information, Communication Technology in Mbabane before the close of business together with cover letters from our publication editors in Botswana. We call Botswana and request for blank letterheads, which we promptly received and sort out the system. Back in Mbabane we are told that our applications will be taken to Interpol then the director and the final approval is a Royal discretion. The government officials tell us that if we get the nod we would have to go and fetch our media access tags at the Convention centre. So all we should do, we are told, is to wait. Armed with my Canon Rebel T1i and Lesejane's pricey Canon 7D cameras, our principal mission in Swaziland is to photograph Umhlanga but the thought of failing to get accreditation was intolerable.

Lidwala BackpackersIn between the hassle for accreditation, we eventually got lucky and scored a perfect accommodation for dedicated backpackers that we are. Lidwala Backpackers Lodge became our new address, conveniently located along the Main Road in Ezwulini valley close to a shopping centre, craft market and not far from Ludzidzini Royal residence where the Reed dance ceremony is held. On our arrival two guests are celebrating their birthday and the party is taken to House on Fire - one of the hot spots we were advised to not leave Swaziland without checking it.

Bhologa and meeting SibebeAt a dinner at the House on Fire restaurant with birthday girls we get the taste of Sibebe - the local beer. It is our style to always choose the local drink and food. Sibebe is to Swaziland what St Louis is to Botswana. After the restaurant we get inside the packed club, House on Fire or Washa uMokhukhu, it is Sibebe Friday Night Live. On stage is Black Note - a lady poet with beautiful words backed by a live band but she is just a curtain raiser for the main act. Bhologa we hear is the talk of town and Swaziland loves him. An ordinary looking man comes on stage with an acoustic guitar. The club suddenly becomes alive. I stand up to uncover the gem of Swaziland. He connects well with the guitar, producing sweet haunting melodies, sings in local lingua almost emulating the younger version of Zimbabwe's Olivier Motukuzi and I am without a doubt experiencing the raw brilliance of a rising star. King Mswati's official poet, Msandi joins him for an inspiring duet.

Phone call from the MinistryThe lady on the other end announces that she is from the Ministry of ICT, I skipped a heartbeat, stood up straight and waited for the news. 'Hello is this Charles?' she asked and after a quick 'yes' from me she informs me that my accreditation has been approved. Then she adds instructions for me to travel to the Convention Centre to fetch my tag and finishes with good news for my travel mate, 'Please tell Pako as well'.

Reunion with Sonny SeriteAfter two days of miscommunication we finally get into contact with our fellow traveller Sonny Serite - that man with a sharp pen from The Telegraph newspaper. We meet at Gables shopping centre and he had already made local friends, who immediately become our friends too. With our own transport and local connection we hit the road in search for hot spots and we start at a dull location called Matsapha where we drink Sibebe with the locals.

COMESA is here for meWhile in Matsapha we got to Esibayeni hotel lounge adjacent to the airport. We meet with a Zimbabwean man drinking Castle Lager who discloses that he is Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe's aide. The Zimbabwean president is expected to come in two days' time for the COMESA summit but his 'aide' has arrived in Swaziland a week earlier to 'prepare' some things for the old man. 'So you're here for COMESA my brother?' asks Serite. 'No, COMESA is here for me' is the emphatic response from the boastful 'aide'. Attracted by our female companions the aide tell us, with sheer brag and arrogance, how he could pay for our drinks and food with his stack of US dollars. He challenges us to order more drinks on his tab, which we cautiously do. Before we could even receive all our drinks the 'aide' had vanished and left us with a steep bill of unbudgeted drinks and food. But we smartly played the trick back on him by advising our waiter to place our steep bill on his room account.

Umhlanga Day sixWe arrive at lunch time at Ludzidzini royal residence. There are girls everywhere, half naked girls, bare breasted virgins holding bundles of reeds parading in groups and singing. This is the reason why we are in Swaziland. We start taking pictures. Fast. Like we are stealing the shots, like someone is going to stop us. There are more girls coming, more than 60,000 we are later told, in all directions and marching towards the Queen Mother's royal residence to deliver the reeds. A cultural spectacle!

Don't shoot the lower bodyAfter all the girls assemble in front of the Queen Mother's residence, security is beefed up. Armed half naked men wearing skirts form a ring around the photographers. The media is called for a quick briefing by the Press Control officers. We are told the next group of girls arriving are royal maidens who include King's daughters and the order is 'Do not shoot the lower body or else we seize your camera'. No protests from the camera persons as we all promise to shoot the upper body - the bare breasts. Royal maidens arrived. Their scents of expensive colognes fill the air. Two Asian photographers and I are threatened with camera confiscation for positioning the camera lower than prescribed.

Move! Move! Move! Move!Inside the arena following the reed presentation, the King descends from the VIP stand to come and dance with the maidens. The topless bodyguards and press control officers are overwhelmed with the number and rowdiness of tens of photographers, most without the accreditation, wanting to capture the King in front of topless virgins. For over 20 minutes while the king was dancing around the maidens, photographers scramble for good shots while bodyguards sing the orders, 'Take and move, Move! Move! Move!' asking a hive of pressmen to give way for the king.

Pako Lesejane's moment of hell with Mugabe's bodyguardsDay seven, the visiting presidents for COMESA summit join multitudes at Ludzidzini for the finale of the dance. Among the heads of state is Mugabe who is receiving immense limelight from the royal family and the people of Swaziland. At his departure from the arena photographers are given strict warnings that the old man or his huge black BMW must not be taken pictures. Lesejane captures two frames of the huge BMW flying the Zimbabwean flag before Mugabe makes an exit. He is immediately spotted by the heavily armed men in suits who quickly grab him together with his camera and take him to a secluded corner. Shaken and visibly scared for his life they demand to see his pictures and later ordered to delete his pictures of an expensive German vehicle bearing an impoverished country's flag. This becomes Lesenjane's darkest moment for the trip. Nonetheless we had many highlights and it was an experience of a lifetime for me, to see 60,000 half naked virgins.