Suicide can and must be prevented

| Friday October 8, 2010 00:00

Suicide is a situation where someone takes action to end their life either because they have a lot of problems, which cannot be solved or they have a terrible disease with no treatment or hope of living a long healthier life.  This person's actions usually lead to potential self-harm or self-destruction. According to research a suicidal individual in most cases has negative beliefs about:

*Self ( 'I' am not good)* The world ( 'It' is unfair)*The future ( 'It' will never change)

These individuals find themselves in what may seem to them as hopeless situations and in most times they believe that they are way beyond help.  Research has also shown that 8 in 10 people who have committed suicide have asked for help days or weeks before they took a step.

Suicidal people are ambivalent (unsure) about life and death, leaving it to others to save them from their imminent calamity. Often people attempt suicide as a means of communicating severe pain and misery, which they are experiencing in their day-to-day living.

One of the main causes of suicide is depression.  Often a suicidal act is not just an impulsive act but an ongoing process ending in death caused by a combination of stress factors, which may seem to be unsolvable.

Young people who are suicidal often talk about the following when interviewed: They have a sense of having no control over things happening in their lives:

*Especially after major disappointments*Feeling they have no power to change anything in their lives* Little optimism for the future*Unable to meet demands from loved ones

They feel under pressure:* Parents expectations* Peer expectations* Feeling they cannot cope with their lives* Self-expectations* Perfectionism (self-defeat)

Breakup of important/major relationships:* Feeling they will never get over the breakup*Blackmailing others into showing they care* Need to show desperation*Fantasising about revenge* Pain where relationship used to be

They want to escape from depression:* Feeling bad about being depressed*Using drugs which will act as a temporary relief after which depression continues.

Escalating family conflict:* Angry expression gives a temporary sense of control* Extreme behaviours provoke more extreme responses*Conflict increase to a point where they feel that no matter what they do they will always be wrong (lose-lose situations)* Would rather be dead than back down

Adapted from Boulenaz (1986)These are some of the things, which contribute to suicide and suicidal attempts, especially among the youth. Others include, family breakdowns and conflicts, family abuse (physical, sexual, emotional), history of previous attempts, self-destructive behaviours (body mutilation), and unemployment.  We must also give those considering suicide support, love, direction, which may be the very thing that can influence their decision to choose life instead of death.

Unless we are a concerned and caring community, which takes measures to impact this complex problem, then we will continue to see a rise in suicidal attempts in our community.  It is the responsibility of each member of the community to be aware that suicide is a problem, particularly among the youth of Botswana.  It is very important to take note of any suicide gestures or remarks made by family members, friends, neighbours or even strangers.Try and help them and if unable to, find them professional help from psychologists (in hospitals), social workers (in hospitals and clinics) or guidance teachers (in schools).

Onalenna Mokanyane, Psychology Clinic NRH