Is Public Kissing Acceptable?

ISAAC PINIELO
Correspondent | Monday March 8, 2010 00:00

The kissing was so deep, passionate and prolonged that they seemed not to notice the frowning stares of the people around them. So, after scrutinising the two, a question cropped up in my mind: Is kissing in public okay or not?

While Batswana consider the act a foreign thing, there are no written rules governing consensual kissing in public.It only depends on individual and societal views. At times kissing in public may be considered to be an indecent act, which makes bystanders, especially the elders, uncomfortable.

Others may argue that it is an expression of love and that by-standers should not be bothered by the act and mind their business.

Reward Jaha of Block One, aged 29, argues that it is not right for people to kiss in public, noting that it is subversive to Setswana culture.

'Those who kiss in public must be punished. There should be a certain limit on how to behave in public. I have seen couples kissing passionately in front of a group of people in public,' he says.

To him, the only things that are acceptable in public are holding hands, putting hands around a lover's waist, hugging, kissing on the cheeks or forehead and a gentle kiss on the lips. He however notes that smooching and tongue kissing should only be done in private.

Mmabontle Goratamang, 37, a street vendor at the Francistown taxi rank concurs that kissing in public is unacceptable. She says she feels very bad when she comes across people kissing as if they are alone. 'People should be taught from a tender age to differentiate between right and wrong. They should learn how to respect the elders,' she says.

A Block Four resident, Kebifetswe Bagwasi, 45, shares the same sentiments. She says nowadays young people have no respect for elders.

She adds that kissing in public is degrading to the people who engage in it. 'Girls who engage in public kissing may end up not getting married because of their shameful behaviour,' says Bagwasi.

An 18-year-old Form Six student at John Mackenzie School, who declined to be identified, had this to say: 'Well, it depends on the watcher.

Kissing in public may be deemed bad by some, others view it as a gesture of affection. When you really love your lover you feel that attraction, irrespective of where you are.'

Nonetheless, a student of Mater Spei College, who only preferred to be called Tshego says people should not be condemned on for expressing their love in public. 'It is preposterous how an expression of love by couples would be deemed to be obscene behavior,' says the 19-year-old.

She adds that there have been instances where she kissed her boyfriend in the mall only to be met with disapproving looks from people. 'It sometimes makes me feel very bad,' she says.

Kissing is described as the act of pressing one's lips against the body of another. A kiss may be used to express sentiments of love, passion, affection, respect, greeting, farewell and good luck, romantic affection or sexual desire among many others. Kissing is a physical expression of deep affection or love between two people, in which the sensations of touch, taste, and smell are involved.

Kissing among Batswana, especially the youth, has become a common expression of affection. Having been adopted from the Europeans, kissing was not a routine occurrence in many tribes in Botswana until recently.

The types of kissing that have become common to Batswana are as explained below:

*Cheek kissing - a ritual or social gesture to indicate friendship, perform a greeting, to confer congratulations, to comfort someone, or to show respect.

* Lip kissing - a form of 'casual' kissing, such as brief kisses of greeting or friendship.

* Tongue kissing - commonly referred to as French or deep kissing is a passionate romantic or sexual kiss in which one participant's tongue touches the other's tongue (or lips) and usually enters his/her mouth. Because of the intimacy associated with it, in many regions of the world, tongue kissing in public is not acceptable to most people.

*Air kiss or blown kisses - done without actually making contact with the skin, but with the lips fairly close to the cheek. This kiss may also be blown from a distance. It is most often done as flirting or sarcastically.

All the above types of kissing, except tongue kissing, are only considered proper when between a man and a woman, two women, or parents kissing their children. Kissing between two men or women on the lips is usually frowned upon.

Until today it has not been established as to whether kissing is a learned or an instinctive behaviour.

However, the objection to it depends on the context. For example, in places such as bars, nightclubs, and strip clubs more extreme forms of public displays of affection are rarely considered to be objectionable.

In these places, acts such as grinding and French kissing are common. It has also become a norm for couples to kiss at a 'white' wedding.