Traditional Leaders Decry Commercialisation Of Bride Price

BABOKI KAYAWE
Staff Writer | Monday March 8, 2010 00:00

The elderly founder of the Bahurutshe cultural village urged the current generation to desist from thinking that material things or love can make a marriage succeed. She said lobola was a form of thanksgiving to the bride's family. She said in Bahurutshe culture, lobola involved giving the family of the bride eight beasts. Usually, a house was also included and given to the couple that is just about to start married life.

Gliekman emphasised the importance of involving both parents for a marriage to be a success. She said if parents are brought in from the start, they can help advise the couple when things are not well.  Batlokwa deputy chief, Michael 'Spokes' Gaborone, said just like any right of passage, marriage in Botswana has undergone changes in a globalising world. He said that paying lobola is an appreciation to the bride's family. 'Lobola is a form of appreciating the bride's parents for letting the man have their daughter's hand in marriage,' Gaborone said. He added that it is a thanksgiving to the bride's parents for taking care of their child until she becomes the woman she is and then granting their daughter's hand in marriage.

He stated that at the core of lobola is the expression of gratitude and there has never been any intention to commercialise it. Originally, the procedure of paying lobola required the man's family to go to the woman's kin to let them know that their son has identified her as a future wife. This is called patlo. Afterwards, the two families have discussion forums to decide whether they give the man the go ahead and the number of cattle to be paid.

Another crucial step is teaching the couple how to behave after being pronounced husband and wife. He lamented that the commercialisation of marriage and the loss of value in the institution of marriage has caused serious problems.

He reiterated that the standard bride price is eight head of cattle.  'It was never intended to be a payment of some sort,' he said. He spoke strongly against marriages that emanate from material things. He warned people to take time to know each other before considering marriage.