God bless Botswana!

NDABA NKOMO | Friday March 19, 2010 00:00

He was however referring to a growing anomaly that is being exploited by many including him to serve fleshly desires. Because of this alarming weakness, thousands are paying the ultimate price - their lives. 

The core of our moral fibre as a country has been eroding over the years. It gets worse everyday. I have failed to figure out the root of this problem though I will not stop trying to get answers. The gods of this land, the ancestors from whom we inherited this part of earth taught our forefathers values from which we should seek guidance to lead our lives. That wisdom of old never loses its significance even in the 21st century. Maybe it is high time we revisited those old 'scripts' to get it right.

Our government's recent move to banish mini-skirts is a realisation of the rapid change in our value systems. Bakgatla in Mochudi still uphold old customs and traditions so as to activate the values and 'Botho'. 

When I was first privileged to land in this country just over a year ago I could not help noticing the beautiful women whose skin colour and texture contradicts the hot and dry desert currents. One thing anyone cannot take away from Batswana is their cleanliness and natural attractiveness. The women's curves are any man's glory.  I stood at the airport waiting for my lift to what was to be my new home and bursting with excitement at  the prospect of a chance to start and carve a new life for myself. Later, a colleague who is now a very good friend of mine picked me at the airport.

He took me home where I took a bath. Before we reached our destination however, he slowed down his car gave a tall, attractive lady his number just before the Block 8 robots. He asked her to call him. That evening, she spent the night at our house with my colleague. It was the first time they met! In the morning I heard her speaking to her husband or significant other over the phone telling him she was at her sister's house in Molepolole. To add insult to injury, she added she was not feeling so well and she would only return home the following day. ' ke a mo fila tota tota' she later told me, referring to the gentleman who had picked me up.  This was my first day in Gaborone. What a welcome!

Without meaning to point any fingers, I believe it is women who hold the keys to any society's moral fibre. Men are hunters by nature, they like to explore but women by design are more cautious and 'clear' headed - or at least they are expected to be. At the end of the day, it is the women who have to say, 'NO'. This however does not mean men should not exercise self-control.  The truth is a few will not stand a chance if tempted because what I saw just at the airport the day arrived is abundant nation-wide!  

Many members of our society admit there is a serious moral problem brewing in our midst. This needs to be addressed urgently. In many corridors of power, influence and even the corporate world, whispers and rumours circulate, 'Have you heard?' Who then will watch the watchman? If this is our story, what is our fate? Who will stand without fear and lead by example?

'It is difficult to commit to any woman because women are in competition to get men. There is no need to stop trying different options. To be quite honest I will not stop sleeping with women because that is what they need here in Botswana. If they did not want they will not make it so easy for men. Buy a woman a glass of beer in a bar she is yours for the whole night. What do you call that?' says a young man who identified himself as Ikalafeng.

Elsewhere an associate from the media fraternity told me of his experiences with two 'blood' sisters. 'You know what happened? I used to spend my nights with this chick because her boyfriend was overseas. One day she introduced me to her elder sister. When I was alone at my house the other day the elder sister came to see me.

Before I knew it- one thing led to another,' he says. He later laughs saying, he is willing to meet the mother as well.

Commenting on this behaviour, Beauty Manyanda, a young professional notes,  'At the end of it all, if sex is so easily accessible and available to men as it is right now in our country they will not stop using women the way they do. Because someone else out there is willing to give them whatever they want anywhere, anytime men fail to take women seriously. Unfortunately we are all painted with one brush.'

Another lady from a media organisation whom I did not ask permission to use her name says, 'It is very embarrassing because even if you go to night clubs in South Africa men seem to think all Batswana women are easy. It is sad.'

Asked to comment Bantsi, who works for a furniture company in Mogoditshane said, 'Girls that sleep around are hoping to get the right men. Committing to one is risky because guys always disappoint you when you think they are the one. Just getting Mr Right who will say 'ke batla go go nyala' is the breakthrough girls need,'

A female colleague says, 'For many women it's not about giving up something, it's about control. Women believe they have this power. They have something that is really, really wanted. Seeing guys behave like kids just to get that is an exhibition of power and control. It's a two way street. Guys at times also have a wife at home, a girlfriend or a fianc. Why not be content with what you have?'

Many have experienced or witnessed similar encounters. What is happening to our country? What is happening to our values? What will put a stop to this? Is the fact that we have free or affordable treatment or control for HIV and Aids a license to sexual freedom? Do we lack the necessary fear for HIV infections to protect our lives and our community?

A local medical doctor who requested not to be named said the absence of strong value systems especially in cities has led to serious moral decadence. He expects matters to get worse now that ARVs will be manufactured in Botswana soon. 'It's as though advancements and breakthroughs in the medical fraternity regarding HIV and Aids have led to some degree of complacency. Prevention is always better than cure, but people get absorbed in risky behaviour such as multiple sex partners,' he said.

When male opportunists see a chance to increase the number of women they sleep with in our society and proclaim, 'God bless Botswana', what does that mean? When women use sex as control or a spell over men, where are we herding? We all have a responsibility to uphold Setswana and African values. The details and proper practices of our culture are best obtained from the Elders - perhaps it is time we lent a more attentive ear to what they can teach us about morality and self-restraint. This might be the beginning of the end of our problems.

(Gongwe ke nako ya gore re kope bagolo ko gae gore ba re rute ngwao ya bogologolo ya bo bo BOJALE LE BOGWERA. Ke gone ha mathata otlhe a ka rarabologang teng).