Stand by the one you love

TUDUETSO TEBAPE | Thursday June 3, 2010 00:00

You see, I tend to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. A problem is never just 'a problem,' it's always a disaster. All through my ups and downs, however, I have had the support of people who love me and have my best interests at heart- even when I feel that I don't really deserve it. They do it because they love me, and this love and support keeps me going.

This realisation got me thinking- it got me thinking about the role I have played in other people's lives and how I- if at all- have supported them and stood by them through their roughest storms. I am glad to say that I can answer 'yes' to that question. But I shouldn't be patting myself on the back for that- it should be the way of the world. There is that Zulu proverb that goes, 'umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu, 'a person is a person through other persons,' and I believe it is true. We as people are not islands. We come from families, work with people, go to school with people, and have lovers and friends. We cannot survive alone. Many people kid themselves into thinking they don't need anyone else.

When I was 24, I was involved in a car accident which I lost a friend to. Although we will never again sit on the benches outside Red Dot drinking Amstel Lager and eating braiied T-bone, paleche le morogo she remains an angel on my shoulder. I remember soon after that tragic incident, I would wake up in my bedroom to find my cousins sitting around my bed just watching me as I slept and comforting me when I cried. My youngest sister moved into my bedroom with me and warded away the nightmares just by being there. Not too long later, I went through another difficult period in my life and my friends and family gathered around me and carried me through it all until I recovered from the rough patch.

Looking back, I know I could not have made it through without this support and dedicated love. I would have lost myself in an abyss of darkness. And in times of happiness, isn't it always grand to be able to share that joy with the same people who shared your pain?Recently, someone very close to me got a career break he has been anticipating for months. In the long waiting time it took for him to get this opportunity, I have watched him wait sometimes patiently, at times impatiently. All the while, I stood by his side; encouraged and supported with undying love. The day he realised his success, I cheered from the sidelines and celebrated like I had won the lotto. Then again, his success is mine because that's what love is: Sharing in the joy and pain.

In these words, I am not only saying 'thank you' to those who have stood by my side through thick and thin, but I am also trying to communicate the great impact everyone can have on someone's life just by truly loving them and supporting them through the rough times as well as the good times. No matter how small you think your effort might be- like my sister who gave me 10 bucks for a kombi ride today- it means the world to the person on the receiving end.

People have a yearning to 'be somebody' and make a difference in the world- and although we can't make an impact on the entire world like Bob Marley or Mahatma Ghandi, we can all have a huge impact in one person's world. That should mean something. I know I have done that for someone, have you?