Women Challenge Men's Authority

Ike Vavi
Correspondent | Monday August 23, 2010 00:00

She is a member of a new class that is emerging in our society. It is a societal class that seems to be shaking the foundation of the patriarchal society.

 The emergence of this class asks questions about the myth that says women are dependents.

This is a new class of young professional women who are making their presence felt.

For Tanyala Mangisi of Goshwe: 'We should always be mindful of the fact that all individuals conform to their societal values and expectations. Their operations and the general worldview is shaped by the society in which they live and operate in. 

'The ability to deal with or handle such a class depends largely on the level of preparation that has been done on members of the society through the socialisation process,' she argues.

She also says 'the emergence of such a group is a challenge, particularly to the men-folk. The males do not know how to handle such a class because this is not what the socialisation process prepared them for. We were taught that males are and have been created to be providers for their female counterparts. The rise of this class is now rendering that misconception irrelevant and outdated. Women who belong to that class are independent and would not want or rely on a man for anything'.

She maintains that it is the switching of roles that now sends a chill down the spine of many men.

'Now these women are able to provide for their families even without the input of a man. When you go into relationships with them as a male, they become your life support. They will support you emotionally and most importantly financially,' she reveals.

Man-T of Francistown, as he prefers to be identified, says that 'Good and advantageous as that situation might be, some men are still not comfortable with such a state of affairs because in most cases when men get hooked by such independent women, most of those relationships end up on the rocks because of the inferiority complex that men who are in such relationships have. Most of those men feel that they are 'lesser' men. They fail to acknowledge and appreciate that these woman are helping them. To them such a situation portrays them as useless men who cannot provide for a woman,' he says.

He also argues that those men who usually go into marriage with such independent women partners are commonly mocked and teased. It is common to hear comments such as 'that man o nyetswe ke mosadi' which implies that the man is 'taken over' by the female. In some instances when a man wants to get married to a professional woman the most common question to be asked is 'A o tla mo kgona?' Which means 'Will you will be able to control or contain her?' It is clear therefore that what people are concerned about is the ability of the man to control the woman,' he argues.

He continues to reveal that unfortunately some men who are in relationships with these independent women resort to dirty tactics in their quest to reclaim or demonstrate their masculinity. 'Some resort to being unnecessarily difficult and some become violent as an endeavour to demonstrate their masculinity and prove that they still have some form of power left in them.' he says.

For the psychology and sociology lecturer in the Institute of Health Sciences in Francistown, Anita Lebengo, the root cause of self doubt by males and their inability to handle this new class of independent women in our society might be the socialisation process of the society.

Our socialisation process has remained stagnant even though life is evolving at a supersonic speed. It is imperative to socialise our young boys to understand that they should be prepared to come across financially powerful women or professionals.

They must be helped to accept this reality as opposed to the old thinking that men are the only ones who have strong financial muscle,' she reasons.