Rich date, poor date

Tumie Modise | Monday October 23, 2017 15:18

Recently, I attended a workshop on interpersonal relationships. Amongst the topics raised at that workshop were discrepancies between genders and what causes couples to break up and have bitter fights after they break up.

Though I may have not always practised it, I believe that broke people have no business dating moneyed people. Similarly, moneyed people should just stay away from the broke masses if we are to find everlasting peace in the world. Majority of domestic fights between couples are in my humble view, as a direct result of people not keeping their lanes.

We all have gone through this in some point of our lives. You meet a stranger, they hypnotise you and before you know it, you are swearing by their grandmother and eating your totem. Don’t get me wrong, falling in love is a beautiful thing. That beautiful moment, when this stranger knocks the air out of you, when all of a sudden you cannot think about anything else but this person. And whenever that happens you get this fussy feeling, like you are floating on air, where you get goose bumps and you suddenly have this permanent glow and blush on your face. You just sail through the day with this amazing energy and you even find yourself apologising to people who step on your toes at the mall. Nothing else matters to you, for you are in this fantastic bubble of absolute joy and happiness. We can all relate.

The only problem with this scenario is when unbeknownst to you, you have surrendered your fragile innermost feelings to the wrong person. We take it for granted that fate handles everything for us, that it knows best. Sometimes we just try God and the universe, whatever you believe in. Like when you meet a hopeless drunk who gives you sleepless nights then you try to convince everyone and yourself that it was decided that way by God and the universe yet deep down you know it is further from the truth.

I am not moneyed and according to the taxman, I am not a pauper either. It is safe to say I fall in-between the two categories. I confess I have never ever dated a fabulously rich person. I don’t even know where girls bump into such people in the first place. Not that I am even trying. As for broke people, and with all due respect, I have crossed paths with one or two of them. I would not say they are dangerously ambitious, maybe daring.

Somebody asked a pertinent question the other day; asking why women seem to ‘like’ money and that reminded me of this topic at that workshop. I am yet to come across anyone who doesn’t like money. Money makes life much easier, everything is money.

The other day my toddler son lost his first milk tooth and the following morning he shocked me by asking why the tooth fairy had not left any money for him in exchange for his tooth.

A nurse once told me about this one very sick elderly patient who had stacks of money hidden in her hospital pillow. Don’t even get me started on churches and the police brandishing swiping machines to crusades and roadblocks nowadays.

There is no denying that money plays a big role in our lives regardless of whether we have it or not. Here is the thing, and this is just my take; when a moneyed woman develops a relationship with a broke guy, it is likely not going to end well for both. Women naturally have this controlling streak about them, I should know.

Now if they have a financial muscle edge over you, you may just as well start wearing skirts around the house. Last time I said this I was accused of being bigoted amongst other profanities thrown at me. But I have experienced this. Apart from the fact that it is against my culture to provide for a man, heaven forgive me but it is extremely hard to respect a guy who is financially dependent on a female and love has nothing to do with it.

The other painful truth is that such a man will again never earn respect from the woman’s family or her friends. Similarly, you are likely to have better luck forcing a camel through the eye of a needle than fitting in with a moneyed family when you are from a different ‘humble’ background. Oil and water simply do not mix.

What I am saying here is that I long found peace after I decided to stick to my lane.