Insanity is..
Tumie Modise | Monday February 13, 2017 16:39
His friend had all the tell-tale signs of the recently heartbroken. If I could be allowed to guess I am betting on relationship drama, boyfriend-girlfriend kind of drama, the most useless of dramas in the whole universe! I will never get this; God knows I will never fathom why people waste so much time, energy and tears on useless things. I am getting carried away; relationship issues irk me so much.
Back to the coffee shop, platitudes by “Dr Phil” to his red-nosed friend, “Mr. Fix-It”, didn’t seem to be helping at all. I resisted the urge to butt in with a resounding “no it’s not! That’s the definition of perseverance!” but felt that my humble correction wouldn’t contribute much to the bromantic mood these two were in, and the almost predictable “who needs women” banter. Tell you what; this is not the definition of insanity. It never has been, and it probably never will be. Here is what insanity is, well according to me;
Insanity is going to bed hungry at night expecting your stomach to be just ‘ok’ in the morning. Trust me, most people act surprised in the morning when their stomachs start growling. The food we eat in our dreams, just like the loo we see in our dreams, are all a trap!
Insanity is going to church with a heart full of hate and anger, expecting to come back from church with a happy heart, mind and soul. And whatever you do, don’t go to church when you are very broke, because if you do you will weep at the sight of the offering basket. Not recommended! You don’t need grace, you need money at this point!
Insanity is when you go clubbing on the eve of an exam, stagger into the exam room with blood shot eyes half-closed, then act all surprised when your results come out. Or you leave that assignment until the very last day, burn the midnight oil, google, copy and paste, tiptoe to your lecturer’s office at night to ‘fax’ the paper under their door then feign shock two weeks later when all they credit you with is your paper and ink.
Insanity is when you date a person you ‘don’t mind’ , avoid being seen in public with them at all costs, but go all the way with them anyway, have a child with them, or worse, you end up married to them. Now this one is a catastrophe, eighteen in the Richter scale of madness.
Insanity is, and I know I will get serious backlash for this one, is when you drive a top-of-the-range wheels, overprized wheels if I may add, the types from one of the ‘local’ car dealers, which aren’t local anyway, but you live in a rented back house. Underline ‘back house’. Landlords assume you are loaded, every three months or so you get an unexplained rent hike because to them, you are living below you means. If I had my way, this one would be included in the penal code under the section which deals with witchcraft.
Acute insanity (if such a word even exists), is when you have problems, serious problems then you offload them to your colleague or worse, a ‘friend’. Congratulations, you just made someone’s day! As a matter of rule, I don’t even talk to my mother, psychologists or pastors about my problems. Forget lawyers, they call them ‘confessions’. Don’t take that chance!
Insanity is when you elect leaders after listening to them tell untruths just to get your vote. Yes deep down you know that their rhetoric is never true, ever. It is all about them, never about us. But we vote for them anyway. The madness comes in when some people later challenge them on their ‘promises’ which they never deliver. It is like believing that old train line, that legendary line perfected by the 80’s male. We all owned trains in the 80’s and 90’s. I had about five, never left the station.
Insanity is when you think you will be forever young then make jokes about older people. Several years down the line the joke will be on you. I should know. Got a shock of my life the other day when my son referred to me as ‘olady’. It was such a wakeup call, but he won’t be repeating that anytime soon.
Insanity is when one reads this piece then questions my own sanity. Now that makes us both insane.