Counselling Is At Loggerheads With Secrecy

Ike Vavi
Correspondent | Friday April 9, 2010 00:00

It has become a concept that hailed by many as a potential saviour of multitudes in these trying times - a reassurance to the world that despite the challenges, there is still hope and that there is no problem without a matching and perfect solution.

For Batswana in particular, this concept may be viewed as the appropriate move to fill the void created by the collapse of the extended family that is accompanied by the end of the social roles and expectations, particularly the counselling aspect that was predominantly performed by uncles and aunts, grandfathers and grandmothers.

But despite the relevance and/or importance of counselling, most Batswana still find it difficult to use and/or accept it as part of their lives.

Thirty-two-year-old Betty Steven of Sekakangwe says the failure of Batswana to use counselling may be attributed largely to our cultural convictions. 'Our culture values secrecy and even teaches us that a human being should always have a secret. Consequently, this conviction means that openness is not encouraged.' she says.

For Steven, society even attaches value to secrecy such that those who are open are regarded as lacking self-respect. 'Our culture has entrenched in our minds the misconception that your integrity and dignity are earned because people do not know much about you. You have to be a closed book for you to gain the respect of other people. Dilo tsa gago ga di a tshwanelwa go itsewe ke mongwe le mongwe,' she says. She calls out for more education and public sensitization about the concept of counselling. 'We need to accept the fact that our culture makes it difficult for us to be receptive to counselling. This means that serious public education and sensitization is necessary.' Eighteen-year-old Paseka Steven (Betty's brother) also maintains that the unfounded fear that people have about counselling prevents them from going for counselling. He says during his days at Maenjane Secondary School, he never visited the guidance and counselling office even when circumstances dictated that he should. 'I was afraid that people would know about my problems. In other words, I could not trust that the teacher would not tell other people, 'he says. But this fear could have negative consequences for students. 'A student's performance may decline; others even take their lives,' Paseka says. Twenty-four-year-old Malebogo Pilot of Nlapkhwane is also of the view that intensification of public education on counselling is needed as a matter of urgency. 'We need to appreciate the fact that this is a new phenomenon in our culture and that because of that, people still have reservations about it,' she says.

'It is clear that counselling calls for a comprehensive review of how our society has been doing its things, particularly regarding secrecy.

Breaking away from such established traditions that promote a culture of silence and secrecy is therefore a mammoth task,' she says.

'It is true that in this day and era, there is no substitute for counselling in terms of coping with our turbulent world. However, it is the cultural aspect of silence and secrecy that hinders our people from fully enjoying the benefits of counselling,' Pilot says.

Pilot argues that it has to be recognised that that counselling resonates well with issues of HIV/AIDS. 'Counselling goes hand-in-hand with testing for HIV/Aids and makes acceptance easier for those living with the virus,' she says.

Suicides and domestic violence is a clear testimony of under-utilization of counselling.  'This explains why we still suicides are not abating and why even school-going children are now taking their lives,' she says. Says Anita Lebengo, a psychology lecturer at the Institute of Health Sciences in Francistown: 'The socialisation of our people can be blamed for the way they view counselling. Our culture over-emphasises secrecy.' She points out that counselling has brought to light the issue of our cultural inertia. 'It is crystal clear that although our culture is evolving at a very fast pace, there are certain aspects of it that society still wants to retain even when they no longer working for us. One of those aspects is secrecy,' she says.

Lebengo says this could be another explanation of why people will have problems and not tell anyone about them. In situations where they do open up, they are too circumspect to get the necessary intervention. 'This is why cases of domestic violence are often withdrawn,' she says.