Misery Of Raising A Disabled Child
Pini Bothoko | Monday December 10, 2018 18:00
During a recent visit to the lands The Monitor team found Mmabotho and her husband Dithibeng Mokgadi, 84, sitting under a tree with their disabled daughter, Diteko, 27. Even though this publication had visited the couple to find out their readiness towards this year’s ploughing season, Mmabotho could not help but share with the team the difficult task she faces when caring for her disabled child for 24 years.
Caring for an incapacitated child is the hardest job in the world as their caretakers are usually faced with lack of support. She has faced more than two decades of a miserable life.
Throughout her childhood, the couple devotedly cared for their daughter after she was hit by stroke at just three-years-old leaving her paralysed. Looking at Diteko’s physical appearance one would think she is in her teens, but she is in fact 27-years-old.
“Even though my husband did not disclose to you the reasons why we have been unable to plough for years now the problem is that we are faced with a serious task in this family.
As you can see this child, there is nothing that she can do for herself, she was hit by a stroke that left her crippled,” Mmabotho said, pointing to her child with pain written all over her face.
Narrating the sad plight, the hurting mother said it was one morning when the then three-year-old Diteko fell down while playing with her elder siblings. She revealed that they rushed her to clinic where she was later referred to Princess Marina Hospital.
“The words that came out of my child’s mouth that morning were the last that I ever heard from her and it was the last time I saw her walking.
Currently she is crippled, she cannot speak and can barely do anything for herself,” a heartbroken Mmabotho said. “Then, the doctors told us that she was attacked by stroke that paralysed the whole of her body on the left side. As you can see her left hand, leg are not working and her mouth has shifted to the left.” The mother of seven, three males and four females, said since then, she has had to focus on caring for her disabled child. She said she is always home, because she does not have any means to transport her child as she cannot walk.
“We do not have a car not even a donkey cart hence struggling even to take her for check ups because we reside in the lands. I am old and I can no longer carry her on my back to the hospital, as a result we have missed her check ups for years now,” Mmabotho said.
Parents of children with special needs tend to be faced with a continuous barrage of challenges from societal isolation, financial strain, difficulty finding resources to outright exhaustion or feeling of confusion and this is the sad reality that the couple faces.
“Since then I have not been able to do anything to bring food to the table as I was forced to be by my daughter’s side all the time. I cannot even plough like other mothers of my age.
We are dying of hunger in this family, especially that my husband is no longer working. It is more than two decades since we have long asked for assistance from the government to no avail,” she said. She revealed that they were promised monthly food rations and for their daughter to have a house built by social workers; something that they have been looking forward to for years now.
“We have lost hope in ever receiving help like other people with children with disabilities.
I do not know why we are this unlucky. Social workers from Ga-Kgatla and Thamaga villages visited us several times promising to assist to no avail. Early this year even Ga-Kgatla village chief came along with them and we hoped for a miracle, but to date we have not yet received any help.
Even social workers from Mogoditshane once visited us and promised to assist in a way but even today we are still looking forward to their help,” said Mmabotho.
Her husband, Dithibeng interrupted and said, “I am planning to travel to Thamaga village once again to enquire on what the delay is all about.
I have in the past taken Diteko to them (Thamaga social workers) so that they can see her face-to-face, but still there is no hope. I do not know what we have done to be faced with such cruelty”.
Dithibeng pleaded for mercy and for anyone to come to their rescue and offer them support. He said his daughter is in need of a wheelchair and food as they are no longer active enough to raise money to feed her.
He said the only people who occasionally visit them are home-based care employees to offer their assistance.