No point in bullying each other, girls!

Victoria Seiketso Sethibe | Thursday November 3, 2016 16:29

Tactics that girls usually use to bully each other include; gossip, relational separation or aggression, cyber bullying and these are just as emotionally toxic as the physical tactics used by their male counterparts. Below are some of the common reasons girls bully each other:

Jealousy; just like their male counterparts, girls pass through adolescence stage whereby they also become self-conscious and somewhat critical of themselves. As this happens, they tend to compare themselves with other girls within the same age bracket. Consequently, this can breed jealousy and bullying. Bullies attempt to pull others down as a coping mechanism to try and fill up what they perceive to be a void in their lives.

Things that usually trigger jealousy in girls include beauty. Girls are generally socialised to be well-groomed (which is not a bad thing, if it is not the only thing that matters to them). It is therefore, not uncommon for a girl to attract jealousy from other girls by being well-groomed. This can even make the well-groomed girl a target for bullying. In such instances, comments such as ‘who does she think she is?’ tend to dominate their group talk. What jealous girls seem to miss out is that the girl whose life they are envious of, is just another girl who also envies other girls, and that even they are also being envied by other girls somewhere out there. At the end of the day, it becomes a whole chain of envy. This just goes to show that there is no value in being envious. Unlike admiration, envy leaves you feeling ‘less than.’ Admiration is more positive because it gives you motivation to move forward and achieve more to emulate your role model. Other things that can make girls impose “sanctions” on others, out of jealousy include; positive progress in areas such as leadership roles in youth clubs at church, school, community service and academics.

Being overly judgmental on each other; as a general rule, people who come across as consistent in their growth pattern get more attention. One of the highlights of this choice is that they get more respect from those who admire them. The downside is that they can also be overly judged by bullies. In more extreme cases bullies can use social media to try and destroy those who seem to be putting better effort to achieve personal goals. This tactic is called cyber-bullying. It typically involves chatting negatively about a chosen target on social media, with the aim of hurting and eventually discouraging that particular individual from focusing on her own goals.

Competition for boys; naturally, as people meet those from the opposite gender, they usually get attracted to each other. In every community, there are boys who get more popular with girls for a whole lot of reasons such as physical appearance, talent and even the cars they drive in some instances. Being popular among girls can make boys get carried away easily, especially if proper guidance is not offered. Even though dating is one of the stages of human growth, it is an emotional risk. A lot of people go through that phase where they get heart-broken several times before they can finally meet someone who is ready to settle in with them.

When bullies go through this common phase, they try to use their manipulative skills in order to forcefully get back their ex-boyfriends and this can lead to cat-fights with other girls, usually over “play boys”. As girls, what you need to learn is that a play boy will keep moving to the next girl. Boys are just boys. They also go through their own silly phases and you can choose to help them outgrow that phase by not allowing them to divide and rule you. There is still a lot that women need to collectively change, like ending gender-based violence and other forms of abuse. It is important to note that boys are not free from the above mentioned forms of bullying. What makes the difference is that, unlike boys, girls rely more on discreet bullying than physical fights.