When Life Throws Lemons At You, Make A Lemonade

Tumie Modise | Monday October 31, 2016 17:11

So last week I am busy minding my own business, which isn’t exactly smooth and easy business I must add. But still, my business means I am able to struggle but still keep my head above water. We all have own struggles and I have had my own fair share. Only difference is, unlike other people I am very private, I don’t wear my struggles on my sleeve and so far it seems to be working well for me. Why anyone would create imaginary struggles for me is something that only Satan can comprehend. But such, unfortunately, is life.

Back to last week, for the third time this year, I woke up on a Thursday to the news that once again I had been featured in a gossip column in one local tabloid. I have already mentioned that it is not the first or the second time, and I bet this won’t even be the last time. I am alive to the fact that tabloids survive by slander, sensationalism and gossip. I am fully aware that they make the bulk of their profits that way. But I still fail to understand why anyone would think that out of two million plus citizens of this country, I make a great fiction story. Ordinarily, I would just brush this thing off, but I have already stated that it’s my own testimony and I thought I should share. On other days I would be laughing it off, but it becomes no laughing matter when it now hurts one’s children, even your family.

Slander and libel are no jokes and someone told me the other day that the best remedy is to just ignore. I would have, only this is consistent with what I write about every week and it vindicates me because I am not a fiction writer, I write about real life situations. Just to be clear, and because contrary to this tabloid, a few people actually look up to me, I am a hardworking mother with three mouths to feed, if you add my two dogs and myself, that’s six mouths to feed. I work honest jobs and I put extra hours every week and the daily exhaustion is worth every thebe.

This may seem like it’s mundane, that it’s no act of heroism, but it actually pays my bills and the cherry on top, in my children’s eyes it makes me a heroine. So someone slandering me on their paper, suggesting that I survive via unorthodox ways saddens and hurts me deeply. The double tragedy is it’s a woman, a mother doing that. But then again, who said life was easy? Still I soldier on, isn’t this what I preach every week?

One lesson I take with me after every challenge is that it is important to understand that every goal we set naturally comes with a plethora of landmines that are attached to that goal. These landmines show up in our lives as a set of obstacles, challenges and problems that we must surpass in order to get to our end destination, which is our goal. In fact, unless we successfully manoeuvre through these landmines and overcome them, than we will fail to learn the valuable lessons that are required to help us achieve — and keep — our goal when we get to that end destination.

When it is it all said and done, every person has obstacles in their life. It is how we overcome them that determines our success. Like instead of hiding every time this tabloid defames me, I choose to stand with my head help up high because bullies just want to run you off particularly if they see you as some kind of threat. Speaking of the cursed Kennedy’s, every time I get a bucket full of compost thrown my way, I am always reminded of JFK’s wife, Jackie. I idolise strong women. After her husband’s head was blown up on the backseat of that Cadillac, for hours even after the new President had been sworn in, she steadfastly refused to take off her stained clothes. 

When asked why she wouldn’t change, she famously stated that she refuses to change because she wanted the whole world to see what they had done to her husband. That’s my philosophy too, I never allow bullies to win.