Damned if you do, damned if you don�t!

Tumie Modise | Monday September 12, 2016 16:22

The old man and the boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Later, they passed some people who then remarked, ‘What a shame! He makes that little boy walk!”.

Then they decided they would both walk. Soon they passed some more people who thought they were both stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people who then shamed them by saying how awful for them to put such a load on a donkey! The boy and the man said they were probably right, so they then decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.

Many of us can relate. It’s literally impossible to keep everyone pleased. You just cannot do it. You can try and fail miserably, but you will never succeed. Some people simply can’t be pleased no matter what you do.  Most people aren’t very logical.

Everyone has an opinion. Even worse, most people will be sure to give you theirs even when you don’t want it. You never really have to ask to get another person’s input on any subject. What most people almost always miss is that pleasing other people, at the very least, should please you simultaneously.

If you find that pleasing other people is making you miserable, you clearly shouldn’t be trying to please them in the first place!

Children have to be the most unreasonable people on earth, just ask any honest parent.

Personally, I have long given up on eating yogurt, simba chips, juice and hotdogs. Even if I am offered any of these I usually politely decline. In my mind, the food items belong in a child’s school lunchbox not in an adult’s tummy.

Just last week I had this very interesting conversation with a colleague. Someone had made her very upset and when she narrated the tale to me, I quickly concluded that she was upset over nothing.

Life is too short to allow yourself to be miserable, especially when there are much better options. But pleasing others at your own expense should never be an option unless you are prepared to start popping anti-depressant pills by the hour.

It’s amazing because you’d think after trying to please a person so much that they would at least offer you a hand when you need help some day. But that’s not going to happen.

The painful truth is that those you please because they make you feel like they need pleasing already think they’re better than you are. They feel that they deserve you doing everything to please them. When, in reality, they couldn’t care less about you.

The thing is, we all live in our own reality and want to be the star of our show, every single one of us sees the world only through their own eyes. We may not all think that life revolves around us, but we all like to be the protagonist of our story — and as the protagonist, we want attention. By trying to please everyone though, you’re only feeding their egos.

One very valuable lesson I have learnt over the years is that when you aren’t worried about what everyone else thinks, it’s a lot easier to focus on the things that actually matter.

 You only have so much time to think about the things that matter, and since there are so many things in the world that do matter, don’t you think it’s foolish to spend time contemplating over trivialities?

Fact is people who never have anything positive to add are actually just oxygen thieves and should be dismissed as such! You can fill your life with wonderful people who do matter to you.

Unfortunately, such people are increasingly becoming extinct in this side of the world. They are rare creatures but life becomes fabulous only when you remove such poisonous individuals.

The moral of the man, boy and donkey story? No matter what you do, there will always be at least one person dissatisfied with what you do.

 So for your sake, don’t bother to listen to every schmuck with an opinion. Sure, you can sometimes learn something from criticism, but haters don’t criticize — they only insult. On the other hand, constructive criticism should always be welcomed..