No need to undermine your vulnerable mothers!
Victoria Seiketso Sethibe | Thursday August 18, 2016 15:33
There was a time when mothers who were single-handedly raising their children enjoyed respect and empathy from those children. Sadly, that respect and empathy seems to be increasingly fading away.
If you are a teenager being raised by a single mother and she is always complaining that you are stressing her out, you need to introspect and consider the following:
You might have joined other members of the community to undermine your mother for being vulnerable. If this statement speaks to you, it is high time you realised that your strength does not come from joining other people to undermine your mother.
Instead, it comes from standing by your mother’s side, even if she happens to be a prostitute. She probably does not enjoy being in that space too, considering the rejection and health implications that come with this lifestyle.
Please note that while you did not force her into that position, she has most probably decided to make herself vulnerable in order to provide for you. Listen to her when she encourages you to work hard in building your career. By doing that she is only trying to protect you from falling into the same trap as her.
Throwing stones at her would be like being angry at a shield for blocking arrows from hitting you. It is for that reason that you have an obligation to help her out of that vulnerable situation through your own self-empowerment effort.
Maybe during your mother’s days as a teenager there was a misconception among her peers that a pretty face and body were enough to earn a good living, by attracting a wealthy man.
Currently there is a common perception that the same pretty face and body are enough for a girl child to attract a ‘blesser’ to her side.
It is nice to look great for as long as you are doing it for YOU. The idea of using your good looks to make somebody else work for you has proved to bring rather short-term benefits and unnecessarily create long-term vulnerability.
It is therefore necessary that as a teenager you cut inter-generational curse by learning to focus, not only by observing, but by also acting on things that are of high value to you.
Being young and prettier than your mother does not mean you would benefit anything by snatching her boyfriend. If anything, you must refuse to be flattered if your mother’s partner tells you how pretty you look. He has no business saying that to you. The best he can do is to find out what you are talented at and encourage you in that regard, period!
You need to note that your humility and brains are your biggest assets. Like they say ‘charity begins at home’ so your humility must start by respecting your parents. Respecting your elders however, does not mean you have to condone emotional, sexual and other forms of physical abuse. Those experiences must always be reported to the relevant authorities straight away!
Your mother may probably be at her lowest right now and most probably banking on your best effort to rise to a level higher than hers.
The lowest positions do not have to be the final positions. Just last Sunday I was following the Rio athletics competitions and got fascinated by what happened once again.
It was amazing how Mohamed ‘Mo’ Farah, an athlete from Great Britain, rose up after being tripped to the ground during a 10,000m race and sprinted to scoop that gold medal!
That was a classic get up and go effort. You too have an obligation to put an effort to get up and go.