Understanding the culture of association, within a group
Victoria Seiketso Sethibe | Thursday July 21, 2016 10:16
If chosen and managed well, groups can offer immeasurable benefits such as; psycho-social support, like in burial societies, quick financial support like in metshelo, and plain human company to keep you updated on what is going on in your work or social circle, or even share your thoughts and experiences with, like in group chats.
On the downside, if chosen without proper care, groups can be a source of fraud, especially where financial transactions take place, like in metshelo, where one person would borrow money and disappear into thin air or opt to be a treasurer, and creatively narrate stories when it is time to pay other shareholders. Groups can also breed negative peer pressure as well as bullying when other members of the group join hands against a member, for being different from them. This usually takes place in groups where members are expected to be totally uniform in the way they think, feel and act. It is therefore important for parents to guide children on some basic principles of choosing groups.
Interestingly, groups can also easily breed collective fear within the members. Collective fear has its own pros and cons. It comes in handy when group members collectively guard against invasion. For instance, one or two members of an exclusive group might suddenly develop a gut feeling that some members in the group are nothing more than invaders and rub off that fear to other group members. Whenever people are chatting in a group, there is bound to be a little bit of gossip, naturally.
As much as it helps to be well guarded, it is also helpful to be mindful of the fact as a general rule, if people can gossip with you, they can also gossip about you, hence defeat the whole point of being guarded. However, it is okay IF you can live with it.
Collective fear can also be a source of unnecessary anxiety that can lead to insomnia, something I briefly experienced in my childhood. Growing up in Lobatse, it was pleasantly compulsory for me to spend every other school holiday in Marojane, a village in the naturally beautiful Barolong farms. During the night, I together with a whole clan of older family playmates (mostly from extended family), would sit around the camp fire and listen to some post-harvest stories about dinonnori or ghosts, while the younger kids would be sleeping. I have to admit these were the most horrifying stories I ever heard in my childhood! What never ceased to surprise me though was that nobody ever confessed to seeing such things. It was always somebody telling everyone else that they heard someone saying they understand these things do exist.
When it was bedtime, most of us listeners, would spend the entire night tossing and turning with eyes wide open, ready for a ‘fight or flight,’ just in case we had a visitation from these undesirable elements, only to be dozing the following day during irresistible playtime. It was always somewhat annoying to see the story tellers in deep sleep, without a care in the world, after our paternal grandmother interceded with some of her seemingly long prayers.
Some years later, at the age of about 28 years old, a friend of mine suggested that we buy tickets to attend a Halloween event at one of the entertainment places in the city.
She had to explain what that was all about to me, since it was my first time to hear the word Halloween. I had to explain to her that I was not a big fan of horror entertainment and that I had enough of those experiences growing up. For me what made it even more challenging was being expected to foot a bill for that late night horrifying experience.
To my surprise, I have come to embrace and even love those campfire stories. The only missing link is the collective fear that used to come with the experience. After all they are part of my cultural heritage.