Assumptions - Bearers Of Heart - Breaks And Disappointments

Kealeboga Ngwigwa | Monday June 1, 2020 09:36

The cattle would normally scout for some water which in reality would be very scarce whilst nature feeds them with empty promises in a form of a MIRAGE.

A mirage is a reflection of rays on the ground surface at a distance and appears to be water afar. The cattle would travel with the hope that they will quench their thirst and eventually get lost because they assumed that a mirage is water. Therefore, a mirage is nothing but an assumption. Similarly in our lives, we make decisions and end up with messy lifestyles due to expectations that lead to assumptions.

Assumptions are unconfirmed messages, in verbal or body form, that are either a consequent of an irrational thought or misunderstanding. It is at times bundled with judging the next person or rather the situation as it unfolds. The biggest cause of assumption is lack of communication which then leaves question gaps that would seek for the thinker to develop their own answers, which are also not accurately true. Most of the time, the decisions one would make under this condition can be likened to building a house in the sand and its strength is prone to be devastated during a catastrophic act of flood or wind.

 For instance, if your employer verbally promises you a salary increase and you immediately commit yourself to any debt can possibly land you in trouble. It is because your decision to absorb the debt is not backed by any valid fact or documentation but rather by the trust you may have on the person who gave you the promise. The truth is, they may not be any salary increment. Sometimes, we further misuse what we have at hand for what we are not guaranteed would land on our laps.

One of the mistake we make, also, is to jump to conclusions before we could ascertain the facts of the matter. A lot of us do not take our life partners seriously because we assume we know who they are and what they think. We can only assume that we know but will never even come close to knowing the truth jarring in their thoughts. We then compromise our contribution to the life and vibrancy our relationships and indulge in an attitude that may repel our loved once away from us. Assumptions loom when there is a wall of ego and pride surrounding one’s life since it isolates you from a point of conversation with others thus deny you understanding of subject matters. Understanding intertwines the groove of life and appropriates rightful decisions.

For instance, if you ask someone when their partner intends to marry them, they often reply by saying; “I do not think he/ she ever consider marrying me because they are just too playful”. This answer clearly attest that someone has assumptions regarding their partner’s intent and that has conceptualised a perception about their partner. You can think as much as you can, you can analyse events as they unfold in our lives but you will never guess the actual truth. Time dictates situations to be in our lives and at the ideal moment your partner will have the conviction to marry you. They use their own brains just as we, and what is on the other’s mind, can never be known until spoken clearly. Therefore, seek answers calmly and listen through your ears not emotions, then understanding will be easy.

We therefore, ought to embrace that a promise is only alive if it is fulfilled. It does not mean every pregnant woman would successfully give birth to a bouncing healthy baby but we hope for that. The one thing that we must is possession of the quality of optimism but not act until the truth is verified.

When you make decisions after verifying the facts, it is like building a house on a solid rock and it will withstand any catastrophic experience and successively build a stronger version of yourself. Promises only pose a risk to your next big step of your life. In order to protect our peace and yield a sound mind, we need to refrain from trusting reluctantly to a point of engaging in any commitment before the validation.

Facts earn you integrity and trustworthiness while assumptions make you lose both the latter.

Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is an Author of a book titled 50 SHOTS OF COLOR (found at Bala Book Store- Railpark Mall and Botswana Book Center- Main Mall), Motivational Speaker, Radio Feature Presenter, Events DC and Humanitarian who believes that there is greatness to be unleashed in all of us. Contact him on kealeboga@coloringsouls.co.bw or +26773791677 for bookings.