Taking a bold step to alter adversity (II)
Victoria Seiketso Sethibe | Thursday March 3, 2016 16:27
George* lost his parents to a car accident when he was nine years old. Being a minor at the time, he had to leave the rented house he had lived in with his late parents and relocate to his grandparents’ house, whom he regularly visited during the school holidays. Being the only child in his family, George was already very close to his grandparents because they were the next closest people to him after his parents. This however, did not exempt him from grieving when he lost the parents he so much adored.
Since his grandparents were retired and no longer able to farm as actively as they used to in their younger years, George had no choice but to start a backyard vegetable garden at the age of 10 years, to sustain some of his and his grandparents’ basic physiological needs. During that time, it was rare to find households which were directly connected to water supply. Fortunately, George’s grandparents had the privilege of a manually operated borehole with a moderate yield in their yard. At his early age, George had no choice but to see an opportunity to generate income by selling water and establishing a commercial garden to sustain his family during the tough financial times. Soon he was named “rramorogo” by his peers in a very demeaning way, but that nick-name became far less in his face as soon as he started taking some self-defence classes during some week days at the local community hall to protect himself from bullies. Even though George had very few friends, he decided to be bold enough to resist feeling shameful of what was regarded by his peers as being “bari” or a “nerd” as some would say. George stayed focused on his goals, despite feeling lonely sometimes. His major goal was to make the most out of his situation by finding and magnifying his opportunities to overcome his adversity. George was also determined to make it to the best of his ability at school, not only to build a bright future for himself, but to make his grandparents proud as well.
There were, however, times when George would just burst into tears when he had flashbacks of his parents and fortunately he had his grandparents’ shoulders to cry on. That, together with his strong faith, kept him strong enough to resist falling into some irrational coping mechanisms that could weigh heavily on his health.
At the age of 18 years, George had to leave his grandparents’ home to go and study at a university after passing Levels with flying colours. His backyard garden was also doing very well as he had already established some loyal customers. His grandparents and supportive teachers gave George some transition guidance before he left for university. Eight years later George graduated with a doctorate degree and indeed made his grandparents proud. Currently George* is married to the woman he met during their study at university and they have been blessed with four wonderful children. His grandparents are also enjoying some fulfilling lives in their old ages.
Lessons from George’s story:
If George could have it his way, he would not have lost his parents at such a young age. This just shows that we do not have total control over what happens in our lives. For that reason, we need to always hope for the best and prepare for the worst. It was a blessing in disguise that George used to regularly stay at the grandparents’ house during the school holidays while the parents were still alive, which made his relocation to his grandparents’ place a relatively smooth transition when he lost his immediate parents.
One of George’s major strengths was to acknowledge his true feelings. He was always honest to his grandparents about how he felt, as evidenced in him crying over his grandparents’ shoulders when he had flashbacks.
Believing that there is light at the end of the tunnel gave George the motivation to be proactive by using the opportunities within his reach to alter the new financial crisis in his family, and also finding fulfillment in caring for his grandparents. There is just something about helping others in need that has a healing effect on human beings. Even though this story has been heavily altered to protect George, a few excerpts from his life experiences are based on a true story.
*Not his real name.