Frustration When Kids Don't Listen

Ashley Thaba | Monday December 7, 2020 15:10

It’s the worst feeling in the world as a parent knowing your child is suffering at a life-threatening level and there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! I have realized that though they are called “unprovoked seizures”, they have happened the last two times we brought trees in to sale.

When we sell trees, it is extremely stressful. We care so much about offering top notch customer service and making sure we never disappoint anyone that although we try and plan for the truck to come well on time to unpack before our clients come collect their high-quality grafted fruit trees, since Corona, everything takes so much longer.

The past two orders have come in so late due to border delays that we literally did not sleep just spending the night unpacking trees to prepare for the next morning so that the time we tell the clients to come is the time we are ready and waiting. I believe in keeping your word! I wish more businesses do this so I will do everything in my power to treat others the way I want to be treated. I believe this is what God calls us to do as believers and followers of Jesus.

Once the trees are there, we spend the day helping customers. We give them a 10-hour time window they can come, but sadly many don’t adhere and come much later than agreed – even the next day… and the next. Which means our family is just sitting at the farm for usually three days (with little to no sleep). At the farm, we have no electricity, so we eat sandwiches, apples, peanuts and raisins, simba chips, juice, water – basically easy to eat snack food for three days without proper meals.

My son already has severe brain damage. I believe that the lack of sleep combined with the poorly balanced diet ALONG with the excess stress of tree order weekends is contributing to these seizures.

This means that they if my theory is correct, these are not UNPROVOKED but rather the damaged brain responding badly to internal stress of exhaustion and poor nutrition.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I suspected this after the September seizure though no doctor ever brought up issues of stress, diet and sleep – it just makes sense that it could be a trigger. Since then, I have tried so hard to help Caleb to understand there are things that I can control and there are things I can not control to help him not put his body at risk for a seizure.

As his loving mom, I try everything in my power to get him to get a good night sleep, to eat healthy, and not to whine and complain and put excess stress into his mind. HOWEVER, despite my begging him and rationally explaining to him WHY this is for HIS BEST, many times he continues to do whatever he wants in that moment!

After he had a seizure on Monday, Tuesday he was complaining of a bad headache and laying around. I urged him to go take a nap around 1:00 in the afternoon. He refused and said “I am okay mom.” I made him go lie down and he kept shouting out from the bedroom. “I am not tired”. This isn’t working until finally I realised I could not FORCE him to sleep and let him go play… only for Him to come in three hours later and say, “I think I need to sleep. My head is pounding.” Now, as a mom, my heart is racing hoping and praying he doesn’t have another seizure. It is a hard place to be. An earlier nap would have helped!

When I was thinking about what to write today, I thought about the stress my son causes me when he refuses to listen. Why can’t my 11-year-old son get it!?!? I KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!! Why can’t he just obey? I thought about our heavenly Father who tells us, “I love you! I have given you a detailed guidebook in the Bible and placed my Spirit in those who believe and desire His guidance. He will walk with you and be a voice behind you saying “this is the way. Walk in it.” But, still… we are like my Caleb… “God, I don’t want to tell the truth! This isn’t working for me! God, I NEED TO STEAL to provide for my family. This trusting you isn’t working for me! God, I want to sleep around. This purity isn’t working for me!”

I am dealing with one child and am in so much pain to see him intentionally hurt himself because he doesn’t trust me. I can’t imagine the pain we put on our heavenly Father who knows and sees everything and is so much wiser than us when we continually shrug aside His instruction as if we know better. Sadly, like my Caleb, many times we go running back saying, “I should have listened to you.”

I would like to encourage you today to search your heart. What is God telling you that you KNOW He wants you to do but you don’t want to do it because like my Caleb who LIKES the taste of junk food or who does NOT like to take a nap…. You also do not WANT to be Obedient because it isn’t what YOU Want.

By this we know that we love the children of God: when we love God and keep His commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome. 1 John 5:2-3

Ashley Thaba is a popular motivational speaker, team building facilitator, author and the Producer of a hit TV show offering practical advice to strengthen families and improve marriages! Episodes of her show can be downloaded from her website – www.ashleythaba.com.You can view some of her work on her YouTube channel: Ashley Thaba. You can buy three of her books, Dive In, Making Marriages Fun, and Conquering the Giants, on her website. You can email her at askthaba@gmail.com or follow her on Facebook at: Talking with the Thabas