I am not your AUSI, I am your sister

Tumie Modise | Monday November 16, 2015 15:14

So last week we were all minding our own business, or rather minding the government business that was taking place at the opening of the august house when out of the blue social media went abuzz with what I consider a silly catfight between two sisters. Ordinarily, such a beef will not catch anyone’s attention, let alone even make news, but because sometimes it can really get boring in this country, especially with this heat even messing up our brains, the catfight went viral, totally eclipsing the SONA in the process. Forget about the hyped-up Stimulus package; this beef was now the real stimulant!

We don’t live in a jungle. As people we live by little set of rules and norms, which we have set for ourselves. Whereas out there in the jungle animals can just pounce on any passing animal on any given day, our long departed ancestors - and depending on your own personal beliefs- Chimps or Adam’s descendants, made sure to draw up some basis rules just so we are different from animals, most of which really just emphasise on self-restraint.

Females are no different; there are certain dos and don’ts that apply to women and all of them are non-negotiable, they are cast in stone. As it turns out, one of the feuding ladies broke one of these basic female etiquette rules and if you ask me, it was very much deliberate. Look, a lady cannot just wake up one morning and refer to another lady as ‘ausi’ under hostile conditions, on social media nogal!  This is a rule that every female knows. Used correctly, there is nothing wrong with the word; in fact, the word is usually used out of utmost respect. Now the problem with people nowadays is that they can be cunning. Harmless and beautiful words such a ‘baby, Ben 10, even the most sacred of all like Jesus and God, are often used as weapons of mass destruction, used to spite and even provoke. Just tell somebody that they think they are Jesus and see what happens.

Where I hail from the word is foreign, especially used in the context which I am assured it is meant for. Personally I never use the word in that context, or in any other context for that matter. In my 12 years of formal schooling, not once did I ever come across that word in the alleged context, and anybody who has gone through government schooling, and actually paid attention, can attest to that. As far as I am concerned, the word is not even a Setswana word but rather a borrowed Afrikaans word which could even mean monkey for all we know. I am not saying it means that, my point is it is still a borrowed word and so it is subject to many interpretations. 

Here is the thing, women are not women anymore. To say women are angry nowadays would be an understatement and this feud between those two is just testament to that. Like time bombs, just about anything and everything ticks us off! We have many pressures and unlike our mothers and grandmothers before them, roles have changed completely. We don’t sit down at home doing household duties in-between feeding chickens, we leave our homes every morning like everybody else and we toil and work hard. That therefore means that we have little time even to entertain jokes, however well-meaning. We are angry people, always ready to pounce at the slightest sign of provocation!

Somebody asked me the other day; how I would have reacted, and what I made of the feud. I am not sure of what my reaction would have been like, maybe I would have tripped, and maybe I would have laughed off. Most importantly, it would have largely depended on my mood that day, and that is where the problem with us women lies.

Do I condone what happened? No I don’t. Both feuding women were wrong, both lost their composure and in the process, even their manners and their dignity. Real women don’t hurl insults in public, real women don’t bring in their mothers into girl fights.

Do I mind this ‘ausi’ title? Unless you hail from Kgatleng or Borolong, it is for you to find out. Like I mentioned before, it will largely depend on my mood on the day, even your own mood. Good luck.