The Day I was Conned

Tumie Modise | Monday November 9, 2015 14:02

When that happens you know for sure that it’s that crazy time of the year again, Christmas madness is here. But before that happens, examinations are currently underway; the last batch of students (form 5’s) will soon throw their pens in the air and conclude their examinations.

Which is really a blessing in disguise because last week there was a story at one of our neighboring countries, of a certain pastor.

While news of miracle preachers is hardly surprising anymore, this one really takes the cake! I thought I had heard and seen them all.

Perhaps sensing that his other colleagues were on another level on the miracle Richter scale, Prophet Hungwe of the House Of Grace International Church, maybe not amused with the now tired grass eating and petrol drinking antics, he saw an opportunity in examinations, took things a notch higher and decided he would bless student’s pens and pencils!

 Clearly the stakes are high here. The thing about examinations is that it does not matter whether one is a believer or not, everyone just has one goal- PASS. In this state, naturally learners would be very nervous around this time and I am even reminded of my student days.

So this genius has found a niche among students, he just prays for their pens and Walla, students would be guaranteed to pass, just like that! I say this again, I do not have any issues with men of God or even any other man for that matter.

I only have issues with people who often take leave of their senses, in particular the 6th and the last one.

I am the last person to judge anyone; I do not have any criteria sheet that determines whether one is a true servant or a quack. I only have an opinion and I always struggle to keep it to myself. I should know, I have fallen for such antics before.

The only, and I believe, the very last time I was tricked was a couple of years ago in Leeds, England. Even after many years, this brief encounter with world class tricksters is still raw in my mind like it happened only yesterday.

  So here I was, with three other people just minding our daily business, doing Christmas shopping when out of nowhere a man approached us with a brochure of unbelievably cheap but good quality ‘bargains’.

Within minutes he had ushered us into what looked like a store.

Once we were inside, we found other people in there, about 20 or so, equally excited! Once we were inside, this energetic man then started displaying the household stuff, which ranged from heavy aluminum pots to guitars and even curtains. Before we knew it, the doors were shut and we were now in a very dark room, save for a few dim lights.

This was around 2pm. Alarmed, and because we are Africans and naturally always suspicious, especially of the dark, a friend immediately enquired about the turn of events.

He was then assured that we were not under any danger, that the doors were just shut as a ‘precautionary’ measure against cops! Police? Yes, police, apparently the kind of ‘dealing’ we were about to take part in wasn’t exactly legal. Did this guy just say ‘dealing’? At the door, three burly men stood guard, our fate was sealed.

I could already picture my body or whatever remained of it being repatriated home to Africa. It was clear we had walked into a minefield. Strangely, most people in there didn’t look the least worried.

Soon we were in what appeared like fierce bidding. The man would lift one of the goods; start the bidding from as low as 1 penny and we would then all bid instantly!

Every time an amount was announced, the assistants would go around collecting the money from us and they were swift.

Every round, they would do that without fail! Thirty minutes later, having failed to win even a single bid, we were told it was time to leave.

Only they didn’t allow us to walk out at our own pace, they literally pushed us out! As we filed past the door, the assistants were standing there with half full black plastic garbage bags and each bidder was given a garbage bag, and a quick handshake.

Before we could even open the bags, the doors were closed shut again! Immediately we started digging into the bags. Common sense should have told us that prizes, even gifts never come in garbage bags! Boarding the bus later, typical of me, I laughed all the way while my friends just sat there stunned!  But still, having your pen isn’t such a gamble when you think of it.